It's actually a voodoo hat, I'm knitting the fiber of your soul into it.

[flexagon]

I am knitting a hat, and for some reason everyone around me seems to be THRILLED by this.

Fussy upstairs neighbor (sounding delighted): "Well this is new! How lovely."
Financial advisor: "No way, that's the first thing you've ever made? It's beautiful."
Doctor: "Well aren't you clever! Very even gauge. That's what my mother always used to say, which is part of why I never was any good at that."
Coworker: "Wow, that's amazing, I wish I could knit."

I am not taking these things as compliments. Why, you ask? Because they are delivered in the tones I would expect from counselors in a halfway home of some kind.

"Isn't it wonderful that Angel has started to knit! That will give her a nice creative outlet to take her mind off the withdrawal symptoms and losing the baby."

"Oh yes... creative, and calming too. I think it's very nice. What is she making, a hat?"

I heard once about a guy who was knitting on the bus and people assumed he was an ex-con who was knitting as part of a prison program. It seems people assume I'm knitting as therapy. Well guess what... I'm actually doing it so that I will be armed with two pointy things at all times. The voices in my head told me that was a good idea, and they were right about the alien plot so I'm trusting them this time too.

Comments

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

Yeah.... I kind of know what you mean about the halfway house counselor/no sudden movements kind of remarks. I get them about abstract paintings or collages. "So what does this signify to you?"

[keithlard.livejournal.com]

*titter*

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

I almost spit my water out on my monitor from laughing. Well done! (Don't stab me with the knitting needles!)

[webrat.livejournal.com]

.and they were right about the alien plot so I'm trusting them this time too.

Didja line the hat with foil?

[flexagon]

Not yet! That's done as a separate step after the knitting's done.

[flexagon]

Oh man. Well, you can always have fun coming up with answers: "this is sort of about staring into the abyss and then suddenly, just as it starts to stare back at you, realizing JUST HOW MANY PENISES there are in the world... so here it explodes outward in more of a joyful way, and these pieces of paper represent knives."

[flexagon]

No worries, I only stab bad people like managers and salespeople. :)

Glad to have made you laugh.

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

And put little sparkly stars on springs on it. Or a beanie propeller.