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Inertia seems to be everything
Once I actually work on my side project, I want to work on it again soon. A countertop that has clutter on it will accumulate more clutter. Some say that money attracts more money; it's obvious that getting one cat is a gateway to getting more cats. It's a bad idea to think about this too much -- I could start thinking that EVERYTHING is addictive.
If you feel like reading a link, check out The unmistakable freedom of contentment. I find it pretty interesting to think of developing contentment as a practice or goal in itself. I've always viewed it as an emergent property that happens when things align just right. I wonder why I'm fine with the idea of working on happiness, or gratitude, but surprised at the idea of working on contentment. Something subtle is going on there.
If you feel like reading a link, check out The unmistakable freedom of contentment. I find it pretty interesting to think of developing contentment as a practice or goal in itself. I've always viewed it as an emergent property that happens when things align just right. I wonder why I'm fine with the idea of working on happiness, or gratitude, but surprised at the idea of working on contentment. Something subtle is going on there.
Content
And you know, because this isn't a mainstream sort of idea, it tends to get a lot of ridicule, which can be very frustrating. Not buying stuff all the time and trying to learn something or learn to do something better can be a source of ridicule from others, too. It's something I do not at all understand, but there it is.
Have you experienced anything like that?
Re: Content
Oh yes. I've been discouraged from applying to the college I went to, and discouraged from doing gymnastics since I'd never be really good from a competitive standpoint, and the list goes on. Sometimes I think the kinder naysayers are trying to guard me against disappointment, and other times I'm less charitable toward them.
and I think my version of 'happy' is really just contentment.
I totally understand what you're saying. Out of curiosity, do you do "enthusiastic" at all? I've taken the Dale Carnegie course and read a bunch of his books, and in that system sincerity and enthusiasm (but especially enthusiasm) is viewed as a lot of the basis for happiness & success. Just recently I've again been playing with something from that class (or is it the book?), which is: lying in bed in the morning for a minute consciously LOOKING FORWARD TO the things in the day. Even if it feels kind of fake. Tomorrow it'll be something like:
"Cool, today I think I'll really have a visible demo of the thing at work. And I get to follow up with the doctor about somnoplasty and hear that I'm healing up well, which will be a nice thing to hear. And, acroyoga! This is going to be a great day."
I've thought about posting about this. I know it sounds stupid, but if I do this exercise, even if I'm being a little sarcastic about it I still get up in a much better mood and feel better about attacking the day.
So yeah. Enthusiasm vs. contentment. Thoughts? I think they can go together, but one seems like a higher-energy frame of mind.
Re: Content
My dad has got 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' - I'll borrow that next time I'm visiting him.
I'm going to think about this for a while. It seems so interesting, and my brain is telling me to let it percolate. :)
no subject
While I can fully get behind principles 1-5, sometimes I worry that #6 is a contradiction. If somebody is content and does not want, then what is the drive to acquire? Sure, it's great to not want oodles of stuff. But I wonder if wanting new knowledge, skills, or attainments relies on similar circuitry. Wanting to be able to do X can cause stress just the same as wanting to buy X, no? What is the fundamental difference? Certainly one can suffer from an overextended grasp for knowledge.
Which isn't to say I'm against contentment. I think a lot of my interest in chaos throws me into a Zen-esque categorization anyways, which generally correlates with contentment being a privileged state.
no subject
I get your point and it's a good one, but there are some differences I can think of:
* Wanting to be or do something inspires continued focused effort, rather than a purchase. Continuing focused effort is likely to be more leading to happy life during that time (states of flow and all that kind of thing).
* Closet space. Seriously.
no subject
are you dissatisfied with your wardrobe? go buy new clothes. not content with your vehicle? go buy a new one. Well YEAH. Definitely DO those things. This is on a minimalist blog, so the audience is people who don't have a large number of possessions -- those few possessions may as well be high-quality and bring pleasure. By all means, if something isn't good enough, trade up to something that is. Give the old one to someone who needs it. (If something is good enough, then yes, be smart and realize it's still good enough even if the next version is on the market.)
I don't think a person can buy their way out of unhappiness, but there is no reason to limp through life using crappy low-quality things that break all the time, or don't work, or make you feel shabby. There IS a world of difference between really good shoes and crappy shoes, and between (for knitters) good-quality, well-spun natural-fiber yarn and cheap acrylic crap. A nice new well-fitted bike vs an old rusty one. Again, I feel this goes double for self-proclaimed minimalists who don't plan on having many objects.
(sings) You know that we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.
no subject
However, as you phrased it, that when you *do* buy something, buy quality, I totally agree with.
no subject
At work, I have 2 particularly over-enthusiastic colleagues, and it feels like it's often my role to get them back down to Earth and working on the practicalities of something rather than just getting excited about it. But I think I need to practice enthusiasm in other domains to combat this!
no subject
They focus on how acquiring goods is not the right way to achieve contentment. But for me, this is really not the problem. I tend to have the more general attitude "I'm always kind of dissatisfied with my life, but I don't know why or how to fix it." That doesn't mean I'm bummed about not having a nicer car or a newer iPod; it also doesn't mean that I turn to retail therapy to feel better. It's more the feeling that between my career, marriage, friendships, etc., I "should" be happier.
Some of the other suggestions in the blog hint at this, but what do you think about how to cope and overcome this?
no subject
Something I don't totally agree with, btw (a few high-quality items CAN make a huge difference here and there), but I think I'll rant about that in response to
I tend to have the more general attitude "I'm always kind of dissatisfied with my life, but I don't know why or how to fix it." ... It's more the feeling that between my career, marriage, friendships, etc., I "should" be happier. ... what do you think about how to cope and overcome this?
Oh my gosh. Big questions! Good things to talk about in person maybe. I obviously don't know the answers to Life, but speaking as someone who's read a whole lot of happiness related stuff, that whole "should be happier" feeling seems to be really common. The big things I've read about for breaking out of that are helping other people, and getting a gratitude practice going. As an introvert I'm more into that second one. It doesn't have to be sappy or a journal -- though of course it *can* be a journal and you should see http://thxthxthx.com for a smile.
Question back at ya: do you have one thing going on every week that you're naturally excited about and really look forward to? (Edited to add naturally.)