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Walkin' on the spiderwebs
Aug. 28th, 2004 09:47 pmSo I had an interesting bout with my phobia today. ( A spiderweb story, no doubt odd to those of you who don't fear them. )
It's weird how I'm constantly pushing on this one, but it hasn't seemed to get better for years. Like I always say, that which does not kill you can weaken you, or scare you shitless, or leave you with scars, or kill someone else, or just make you tired. There's a chance that it will make you stronger, yes, but that should not be counted on. I do wonder sometimes about intensive shock therapy where I have to sweep away spiderweb after spiderweb, with a therapist, all day until all my adrenaline was used up and I just got bored... but even that wouldn't do anything against the shock of sometimes seeing things dangling in space where they shouldn't be, and climbing around in empty space using more limbs than I can understand, on a structure whose extent I can't see. (Tidbit: in the woods when it's foggy and every strand is visible, webs don't scare me at all.) I did a good job today, but overall it's probably hopeless.
It's weird how I'm constantly pushing on this one, but it hasn't seemed to get better for years. Like I always say, that which does not kill you can weaken you, or scare you shitless, or leave you with scars, or kill someone else, or just make you tired. There's a chance that it will make you stronger, yes, but that should not be counted on. I do wonder sometimes about intensive shock therapy where I have to sweep away spiderweb after spiderweb, with a therapist, all day until all my adrenaline was used up and I just got bored... but even that wouldn't do anything against the shock of sometimes seeing things dangling in space where they shouldn't be, and climbing around in empty space using more limbs than I can understand, on a structure whose extent I can't see. (Tidbit: in the woods when it's foggy and every strand is visible, webs don't scare me at all.) I did a good job today, but overall it's probably hopeless.
