ice water and ocicats

The overall feeling of this week has been, weirdly, competence: an engine is revving up into problem-solving mode, and the engine is me. I am somehow feeling more centered, more over my own feet, in both the work and personal sides of life. The rush of brainpower last Thursday has turned into something a little more sustained.

Athletically I keep hitting new personal records. This week I did a new flexibility thing (touched my right elbow to my right toe -- that's the bad side) and a new strength thing (70lb Turkish Get-Up on my left side -- that's also the bad side). I struggled in today's handstand lesson, yes, but that's by design.

Another weird thing I did: someone died on another team at work, and I got a spot bonus for arranging a local counselor and setting her up in various rooms for the local branch of that team. I promptly spent the bonus on clothes, which I was planning to do less of this year, but this time it was largely something that went on sale after I'd wanted it for most of a year (this shirt), and duplicates of my favorite leggings which are finally back in stock at Nomads. Last month my only clothing purchase was also a duplicate purchase, of sweatpants... so, it seems I have become a person who buys duplicates of things. Like being a prepper, except for leggings with slashes. I don't think it's a problem yet, so for now I'm just observing myself doing this thing.

I tried to move decisively and seriously toward another team at work, but they want me to figure out more stuff with my current management chain first. Damn it. Fine. So I tried to move firmly toward doing THAT, asking my manager flat-out whether he wants me to stay or go, and got that he'd love me to stay but has a reorg idea that might make my role make more sense. I told him we should talk (like fucking adults, I did not add), that I agree my current role could use some elimination. Also, it's nice to hear that he actually wants me in the org. Then to top off the week, on Friday I had my first meeting with a new executive coach, who has a background in clinical psychology and who switched to business psychology after deciding she really likes working with high-functioning people. I liked her a lot. If she can help me think of more options than I have currently thought of, then I will certainly consider those.

In personal life, well. I gave someone some feedback, very firmly with no softening words, and didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I'll tell more stories sometime when I know what's actually going on, but at least I'm not being a pushover -- on the contrary. By the time I left, the person looked like they'd been hit by a truck. :-/ I think they're working on finding a therapist now, which is a very good thing.

Summary: little actual progress, but traction. And new clothes.