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Brain dump on the topic of work
Nov. 3rd, 2010 10:52 pmFriends, I've been holding out on you a lot lately, and one thing I've been holding out about is Zillian.
To begin with, Zillian is its usual churning, bubbling, chaotic self. One of my friends just gave notice last week (finally) while another will probably get a promotion tomorrow; we're all moving to another floor of the building next month, it turns out my team has to totally rewrite its product for the next incarnation of Image Search, we're still acquiring another company in a few months (pending regulatory approval), I had to upgrade my computer to a new kernel, and the constant change doesn't stop, not ever.
Nonetheless, I've experienced a slow, steady upswell of confidence this year. I take the upheavals more calmly every time -- and that's no accident, by the way, I chose to stay in this environment in hopes that it would eventually make me better at dealing with change. Either that's happening or I'm simply too numb to react to things anymore. Once upon a time, I would have worried a lot about the upcoming change in desk location; this time I gave it about 15 minutes of thought, and that includes picking my new desk.
In addition, I had my third anniversary last month, which means I start accruing vacation faster -- for the first time in my life I'll have 20 days/year. The increased seniority also comes in handy when it's time to pick desks. :) For the first time ever, it feels easier to stay at Zillian than to start over somewhere new.
I've also learned a lot of technical stuff this year and it's starting to stick better. While this is not linear or smooth, it's getting more likely all the time that new tidbits of information will stick in my head, because it's more likely to touch on the framework of things I already know.
The culmination for now is that, while I was off at the Zillian mothership after the acroyoga festival, I called up my boss Galahad and told him I wanted to be tech lead of my group when my current tech lead transfers away at the end of the year. The next day, he told me yes, and the next week we announced the decision to the team (only one of whom has given notice since then... so far so good, right??). Ever since then I've been the heir apparent, and I'm being groomed semi-intensively. That mostly means information is being stuffed into my head; soon I will be the person whose job it is to hold the whole design in mind at the same time, rather than just the bits I've been working on myself. And I will be the face of the group when speaking to other groups, and I will do code reviews, and do the rounds to make sure all my people are happy and un-stuck.
The above only terrifies me a little bit.
Worse is that I plan to tech lead through a launch (never mind of what, you know I can't tell) and then go for promotion in the spring, and, assuming the launch goes okay, it's a near sure thing that I'll get it. Life as a senior software engineer will be different; I'm starting to believe it may be better, despite what has felt like a risk to me; I know for sure it's expected that I try. Fine, you bastards, fine. I will try, just to get people off my case but also to put the last nail in the coffin of 2008. I've been waiting a long time to do that.
Also worse... I'm losing my tech lead and the other person who's more experienced than I am at the same time (she's going on maternity leave). So the team I inherit is going to be a shriveled shadow version of the team I work on now, staffed up with new and less clueful people; the main continuity between the older system and the new one will be me (which is why it makes some sense for me to be TL whether I like it or not). In short, it's going to be hard. I'm spending significant time looking for someone to transfer into my group, NOW, in an attempt to be more ready for January.
Someone told me today: "You're swimming with the big fish now... so run with it!"
And I said: "Sir, your metaphors are mixed but I believe your intentions are kind, so thank you."
To begin with, Zillian is its usual churning, bubbling, chaotic self. One of my friends just gave notice last week (finally) while another will probably get a promotion tomorrow; we're all moving to another floor of the building next month, it turns out my team has to totally rewrite its product for the next incarnation of Image Search, we're still acquiring another company in a few months (pending regulatory approval), I had to upgrade my computer to a new kernel, and the constant change doesn't stop, not ever.
Nonetheless, I've experienced a slow, steady upswell of confidence this year. I take the upheavals more calmly every time -- and that's no accident, by the way, I chose to stay in this environment in hopes that it would eventually make me better at dealing with change. Either that's happening or I'm simply too numb to react to things anymore. Once upon a time, I would have worried a lot about the upcoming change in desk location; this time I gave it about 15 minutes of thought, and that includes picking my new desk.
In addition, I had my third anniversary last month, which means I start accruing vacation faster -- for the first time in my life I'll have 20 days/year. The increased seniority also comes in handy when it's time to pick desks. :) For the first time ever, it feels easier to stay at Zillian than to start over somewhere new.
I've also learned a lot of technical stuff this year and it's starting to stick better. While this is not linear or smooth, it's getting more likely all the time that new tidbits of information will stick in my head, because it's more likely to touch on the framework of things I already know.
The culmination for now is that, while I was off at the Zillian mothership after the acroyoga festival, I called up my boss Galahad and told him I wanted to be tech lead of my group when my current tech lead transfers away at the end of the year. The next day, he told me yes, and the next week we announced the decision to the team (only one of whom has given notice since then... so far so good, right??). Ever since then I've been the heir apparent, and I'm being groomed semi-intensively. That mostly means information is being stuffed into my head; soon I will be the person whose job it is to hold the whole design in mind at the same time, rather than just the bits I've been working on myself. And I will be the face of the group when speaking to other groups, and I will do code reviews, and do the rounds to make sure all my people are happy and un-stuck.
The above only terrifies me a little bit.
Worse is that I plan to tech lead through a launch (never mind of what, you know I can't tell) and then go for promotion in the spring, and, assuming the launch goes okay, it's a near sure thing that I'll get it. Life as a senior software engineer will be different; I'm starting to believe it may be better, despite what has felt like a risk to me; I know for sure it's expected that I try. Fine, you bastards, fine. I will try, just to get people off my case but also to put the last nail in the coffin of 2008. I've been waiting a long time to do that.
Also worse... I'm losing my tech lead and the other person who's more experienced than I am at the same time (she's going on maternity leave). So the team I inherit is going to be a shriveled shadow version of the team I work on now, staffed up with new and less clueful people; the main continuity between the older system and the new one will be me (which is why it makes some sense for me to be TL whether I like it or not). In short, it's going to be hard. I'm spending significant time looking for someone to transfer into my group, NOW, in an attempt to be more ready for January.
Someone told me today: "You're swimming with the big fish now... so run with it!"
And I said: "Sir, your metaphors are mixed but I believe your intentions are kind, so thank you."
