[4.9%] Intentionality

I think I've done a full 180 on intentionality. When I was young I associated intentionality with fakeness, as if authenticity had to be spontaneously occurring. But now when I experience someone doing something intentional, it comes across powerfully even when it is a little awkward. Much more authentic because they're doing it on purpose, really, instead of randomly having whatever effect on the world because that's just how they happen to wiggle. I still appreciate the natural emergent vibe of someone too, but a lot of what I used to perceive as artifice I now simply perceive as style.

I say related things all the time at work: "This is fine, and let's do it on purpose instead of doing it by accident." Time to start appreciating intentionality in myself, when I bring it to things...? Well. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I notice other people noticing it though, and it is something that's served me well in leadership.

What am I doing on purpose right now? Two things: one is building a new weekly schedule, which includes starting up with a new handstand coach and also my team switch at work. The other is slowly continuing all the poly follow-up required for dating a new person -- there are four metamour-pairs that need to meet at some point, for starters. One down, one planned, two to go. It is a pain. Still can't have sex or even kiss (thanks, covid!), but I can tease him over video chat, and I can make playlists to keep him awake while he drives to people's deathbeds. It continues to be The Weirdest Relationship.

My skin is still freaking out. The acne on my back is slowly calming down (they gave me adapalene and that seems to be working) and now I have a different problem too. Sigh... some days I don't know how this wrapper got past quality control.