Rules of thumb...

[flexagon]

I read The Happiness Project two weeks ago with the greatest of dorky glee and then felt compelled to read the entire archive of the author's blog. (I don't recommend the latter to you if you're not good at skimming. Me, I'm very good at skimming, and I found some good nuggets). Probably the most bloggable post is this one about heuristics, or rules of thumb that people have embedded in their brains. The comments are interesting, as different people list theirs.

These fall into at least two categories: rules of thumb that you try to think of when dealing with life, and rules/assumptions that you kind of live by even though you might not even agree with them. (A lot of prejudices and self-destructive rules fall into this category: everything I do has to be perfect, religious people are stupid, etc.)

Some of other people's (the good kind):

• Identify the problem.


• The opposite of a great truth is also true.


• Choose the bigger life.


• Smile, breathe and go slowly.


• The times when things go wrong often make the best memories.


• Learn to be comfortable with uncertainty.

Some of mine, mixed:

• Alignment, tightness, balance.


• Focus on the foundation.


• Work hard, play hard.


• Grace under pressure.


• The only way out is through.


• Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down.


• Pick up both crystals! (Demand both whenever possible).


• Do things with short term AND long-term benefits.


• Everyone creates their own happiness.

What are some of yours?

(As is usual lately, this draft has been in progress for days, and has nothing to do with what's actually happening now.)

Comments

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

One of mine for years has been: Protect your own mental wellbeing, because no one else will.

[dancing-crow.livejournal.com]

lean into the difficult moments
try everything three times
I can't read your mind + I will not willingly hurt you
90% of parenting is sleep and blood-sugar management

[kaigex.livejournal.com]

* Embrace the random
* Your integrity cannot be taken; only forfeited
* Always be playing with the world
* Never choose the blue pill
* Nobody says, "I wish I spent more time at the office," on their death bed
* It is not the case that you actually shouldn't do everything you shouldn't do
* The quantification of Time is a social construct
* Learn something new every day
* For everything you do, turn a screw
* Girls are awesome

[dilletante.livejournal.com]

never ascribe to malice what can be adequately explained by error

if you never fall, you aren't doing interesting enough things

[flexagon]

lean into the difficult moments

Ooh, a belated thank you. I love, love, love this one. I actually used it (slight variant) in a team meeting the other day, and I've been thinking about it a lot. It seems so true... difficult things don't work if you're only half-committed. Lean into them full-weight and something will happen. I love this elegant summary of the idea.

90% of parenting is sleep and blood-sugar management

So it's a lot like playing the Sims then. I can understand that. :-)

[flexagon]

I like that. In a funny/sad kind way it's what I meant by "everyone creates their own happiness". What I really meant is "protect your own mental wellbeing, because no one else CAN."

(Heaven knows we tried hard enough to protect my dad's. But it can't be done. And in general your rule is correct that no one else even will try.)

[flexagon]

Thanks! I love "embrace the random". You make me realize I forgot "Spiral out, keep going." :D

Nobody says, "I wish I spent more time at the office," on their death bed

I don't buy this one -- I think a lot of people probably do wish they had been more effective and done more in the world. It's true that in a lot of cases this probably translates to "I wish I had a different, more meaningful career entirely", but still.

Oddly, despite my stated preference for a different phrasing, I've been thinking often of "for everything you do, turn a screw". In fact, that saying is why some dishes are put away right now, and why the rug made it to the cleaners' to get cleaned.

People consistently underestimate the cumulative power of small actions repeated over time...

[flexagon]

Also for reference: Secrets of Adulthood.

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/secrets-of-adulthood.html

[flexagon]

"Lead with your hopes, not your fears."