Still alive! Handstands, earrings, kitten, work.

[flexagon]

Many things I have not told you, LJ... some from weeks ago, like how I went to Arisia for a couple of hours, and found a vendor selling the same earrings I bought from them at MIT about seventeen years ago. I had lost one after about five years, and took it as a lovely gift that I was able to find them again.

And how about how my traps are killing me the morning after every handstand class now? A couple of weeks ago I learned how to engage them properly, I guess, and now they are screaming with pain. YE GODS, I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS ALL ALONG?

I suspect it's not coincidence that I kicked up to my longest-ever handstand hold today yesterday in the gym. Video here; 43 seconds. The form's not so great, but all comments on it have been encouraging so far. Now that my wrist isn't hurt, 60 is probably on its way.

Kitten! I can has ocikitten? Well, this turns out to be unclear. heisenbug said "sure, as long as you look into the morality of the thing". I did, and was content with "it's not obviously wrong; turns out to be complicated", and the bug is not. Our subsequent conversations have turned into quite the interesting exploration of morality: do we demand of ourselves that we do things that are net good, maximal good, or the best among obvious alternatives? Is it just as morally wrong to refrain from a good action as to take a bad action? Are we even correct to think a new kitten is more likely to be accepted by Nala than a new adult cat (the internet still seems to say yes)? And clearly our relationship allows us to do things that bother the other, anyway; where are the bounds of that, is this under the limit?

Oh yeah, and going for promotion at work. Wheeeeeee. This seems to be an actual thing that I am actually doing. Self-reviews are due on March 18. The Winemaker asked me last week how I'd feel if I didn't get it, and I said "that would be awesome" and he laughed at me. He feels my reasons for going for it -- to better support my direct reports -- is a kind of inauthentic one, but he failed to name me a reason he'd consider a good reason. I don't get what reason there would be, outside of either vanity or corporate bureaucracy reasons; it's a totally internal and arbitrary thing. But I lied to the Winemaker a bit; I don't like drama and don't want to go up for it twice, so I do hope I get it.

Comments

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about the morality thing with the kitten. We have had three purebred Dalmatians - one a rescue, two from breeders. The first my husband got before he met me but we got Daphne together. I still feel guilty about that. I love the breed and I love her, but the more I learn about the rescue/homeless dog situation the more uncomfortable I am getting another purebred dog. Kuma is a shelter puppy and he came from a Very Bad Situation in Philly so I feel a little better karma-wise with him. Wally is also a rescue, from a cat rescue group a friend volunteers with.

To offset that guilt, we give a lot of money to rescue organizations of various stripes. Fostering or adopting an animal would be better, but I think it helps.

We have debated a lot about the next dog. We are used to having three and Kuma needs a friend since Daphne ignores him. I have always wanted a French bulldog, much like you want the kitten, I suspect. But they cost $2k plus for a healthy dog from a reputable breeder, and that makes me very uneasy, especially knowing how many homeless pits are out there and how much of a difference that kind of money would make with a rescue. We've done so well with Kuma and I love pits, so I am trying to convince my husband that rather than another Dalmatian, we get another pit puppy so he grows up with Kuma. My husband feels that we adopt when we can, giving the money offsets the karmic balance, and that we are giving any dog a good home and purebred dogs deserve that too. I think the purebreds have a better guarantee of a good home regardless of what we choose to do. It's definitely a huge ethical dilemma.

I agree with you that a kitten is a better idea. Adult cats have a much easier time accepting "intruders" when they are babies. The older cat can rule the roost and the baby grows up looking up to the older cat and accommodates their eccentricities better.

[flexagon]

Thanks for the response! Lots of our friends think we're being a little over-intense with the endless conversations, so it's nice to hear from someone in a parallel situation.

Your compromise/solution of giving money to rescue organizations is one that's been suggested to us. heisenbug initially rejected it for reasons of "rescue organizations are probably not the most efficient thing to do with charity money". I still kind of like it though -- I think we should probably be limiting our scope here to "what is the best thing we can do for cats and our family" or we'll just spiral off into the weeds and never conclude anything.

Another idea is to get one ocicat kitten and one shelter kitten; let the kittens wear each other out while Nala naps on the couch. But that sounds a little bit exhausting to us. :-)

I sort of hope you see your way clear to having a French bulldog at some point in your life. Do they ever come through on petfinder? We only live once, and giving a good home to a specific breeder animal as a once-in-a-lifetime indulgence just doesn't seem that bad to me.

[soong.livejournal.com]

sounds like you hope you get the promotion, you just wish you didn't have to get it.

[flexagon]

Yeah, that's accurate. The truth is, I think I "deserve" it, in that all my peers are at the next level already; I just wish I didn't have to accept the dubious honor of even higher expectations. It's not the reward I wanted.

[soong.livejournal.com]

What is the reward you want? Early retirement? Every Monday off? Greater autonomy? A year off to run away and join the circus?

[flexagon]

I want sustainability: where I know that working away at some constant level will result in a situation that is okay with me and okay with Google, in a way that won't by necessity end soon.