Vacation over
Dec. 28th, 2003 08:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexagon..another one coming up soon (flying out on Thursday), and in the meantime I'm going to work.
This 4-day weekend was nice. I did all the usual chores plus some unusual relaxing, and packed all I could reasonably pack without cutting into either the functionality or basic look of the apartment. I had a good, slow lifting session today that kind of restored my faith that full-body workouts are still possible (and a 300-lb leg press is so within striking range now... soooo close), but I also went to Bally's to see about their 3-year program. Sure enough, it's cheap. Phoo. Then from there to the sofa store, where I found a really fabulous sectional that won't quite fit into our living room unless we split it apart. Double phoo.
I also did some introspection, mostly while in the gym... partially because I'm gearing up for this year's entry in my one real journal. It has one entry a year, and one copy of it exists (mostly printed on acid-free paper). No edits, no backups, no deletion except by fire or something. Usually I write where I am and what's around me, then (sometimes) a brief summary of what I did each month or season, and then bulleted lists of what was good, bad, and flat-out weird about the year. I round off with hopes for the next year, print it, stick it in my notebook and forget about it. I don't know anyone else who does this, and maybe it's an odd idea, but this'll be the 7th entry... I guess it works for me. (My activity on LJ has been a great surprise, and I still don't rule out the option of deleting the whole thing in a fit of pique someday. My once-a-year journal I've promised not to. So that's that.)
So... working. One intro I've got all spected out is that I'm very disappointed with my work performance in the last few weeks. I'm not necessarily saying it's all disappointment with myself, because there have been outside influences, and I recognize that. But my lack of productivity makes me unhappy, and not just unhappy when I think about it but unhappy during the workday too. I'm pretty into the idea of flow (that nice condition where you're really into what you're doing and aren't really marking time or being self-conscious), and lately I realized that I haven't had a solid half-hour of just doing work in an unbelieveable amount of time. Weeks and weeks. It's partly because of all the condo calls I've been taking at work, plus various interruptions (work-related and not), but the rest of it is simple bad habits I've gotten plus just my own forgetting of how valuable long stretches of work-time really are. They feel good, they're more productive, and they keep me employed... yes, stupid fetus, get back into that! Argh. There are soooo many good habits I've just let slip.... how does one stop monitoring oneself so completely? I used to care about flowtime at work, I used to set myself little goals to meet each day instead of proceeding haphazardly just any old amount, I used to remind myself that slacking off beyond brain-breaks (necessary in my line of work) is not the most ethical thing. I have to get these behaviors back, before my destructive flittering about starts to spread into other parts of my life and/or starts to affect how others deal with me at work. Besides, one of the things I used to most like about myself was my long attention span and ability to focus. How the mighty have fallen, at work anyway. :b
I made sure to get a few flow experiences in this weekend with packing, working out, and playing a couple of different games, especially Uru... so hopefully I'm all set now for tomorrow to be my first truly productive day at work in a long time. I was doing pretty well on Christmas Eve morning, and was almost wishing they hadn't sent us home early, so that that could have been my first day back. Anyway. Tomorrow. And then the next day and the next day. If I can just get my focus back for this short week it'll prove to me that I can get it back after the vacation, too, and stay on track. This has been an embarrassing post for me to write--I've historically a productive person, but right now I feel I have to earn that label back. I'm losing a piece of myself here. : /
The condo appraisal--this is what the bank does, to be sure the property is worth at least the amount of the mortgage loan, as part of approving our mortgage--is tomorrow at 10:00. As part of my back-to-work initiative, I'm not going, but am sending HLM armed with a tape measure. The results should be informative. We've already done some playing with the floor plan along with little to-scale cutouts of the sectional and the bed, but that'll work a lot better when we know where certain doorways really are.
Wicked is disturbing, disillusioning and daunting. I'm trying to intersperse it with other reading to make it last. :)
This 4-day weekend was nice. I did all the usual chores plus some unusual relaxing, and packed all I could reasonably pack without cutting into either the functionality or basic look of the apartment. I had a good, slow lifting session today that kind of restored my faith that full-body workouts are still possible (and a 300-lb leg press is so within striking range now... soooo close), but I also went to Bally's to see about their 3-year program. Sure enough, it's cheap. Phoo. Then from there to the sofa store, where I found a really fabulous sectional that won't quite fit into our living room unless we split it apart. Double phoo.
I also did some introspection, mostly while in the gym... partially because I'm gearing up for this year's entry in my one real journal. It has one entry a year, and one copy of it exists (mostly printed on acid-free paper). No edits, no backups, no deletion except by fire or something. Usually I write where I am and what's around me, then (sometimes) a brief summary of what I did each month or season, and then bulleted lists of what was good, bad, and flat-out weird about the year. I round off with hopes for the next year, print it, stick it in my notebook and forget about it. I don't know anyone else who does this, and maybe it's an odd idea, but this'll be the 7th entry... I guess it works for me. (My activity on LJ has been a great surprise, and I still don't rule out the option of deleting the whole thing in a fit of pique someday. My once-a-year journal I've promised not to. So that's that.)
So... working. One intro I've got all spected out is that I'm very disappointed with my work performance in the last few weeks. I'm not necessarily saying it's all disappointment with myself, because there have been outside influences, and I recognize that. But my lack of productivity makes me unhappy, and not just unhappy when I think about it but unhappy during the workday too. I'm pretty into the idea of flow (that nice condition where you're really into what you're doing and aren't really marking time or being self-conscious), and lately I realized that I haven't had a solid half-hour of just doing work in an unbelieveable amount of time. Weeks and weeks. It's partly because of all the condo calls I've been taking at work, plus various interruptions (work-related and not), but the rest of it is simple bad habits I've gotten plus just my own forgetting of how valuable long stretches of work-time really are. They feel good, they're more productive, and they keep me employed... yes, stupid fetus, get back into that! Argh. There are soooo many good habits I've just let slip.... how does one stop monitoring oneself so completely? I used to care about flowtime at work, I used to set myself little goals to meet each day instead of proceeding haphazardly just any old amount, I used to remind myself that slacking off beyond brain-breaks (necessary in my line of work) is not the most ethical thing. I have to get these behaviors back, before my destructive flittering about starts to spread into other parts of my life and/or starts to affect how others deal with me at work. Besides, one of the things I used to most like about myself was my long attention span and ability to focus. How the mighty have fallen, at work anyway. :b
I made sure to get a few flow experiences in this weekend with packing, working out, and playing a couple of different games, especially Uru... so hopefully I'm all set now for tomorrow to be my first truly productive day at work in a long time. I was doing pretty well on Christmas Eve morning, and was almost wishing they hadn't sent us home early, so that that could have been my first day back. Anyway. Tomorrow. And then the next day and the next day. If I can just get my focus back for this short week it'll prove to me that I can get it back after the vacation, too, and stay on track. This has been an embarrassing post for me to write--I've historically a productive person, but right now I feel I have to earn that label back. I'm losing a piece of myself here. : /
The condo appraisal--this is what the bank does, to be sure the property is worth at least the amount of the mortgage loan, as part of approving our mortgage--is tomorrow at 10:00. As part of my back-to-work initiative, I'm not going, but am sending HLM armed with a tape measure. The results should be informative. We've already done some playing with the floor plan along with little to-scale cutouts of the sectional and the bed, but that'll work a lot better when we know where certain doorways really are.
Wicked is disturbing, disillusioning and daunting. I'm trying to intersperse it with other reading to make it last. :)
