ice water and ocicats

Wow, so its not just me. So many of the things you said here hit home that I don't know where to begin commenting.

The poor thing. You know, sometimes I feel like I have a mental block. Like because of the place I grew up in, that I will never be able to make money, not real money...and I think part of it is fear of what I would do if I had the real money, and part of it is fear that I am not good enough to do so (the guilt) so why try?

The Tech Review thing!! Totally. Half my friends went on to help develop E-Ink. At least three of my friends have done projects that have created millions for them quickly and had some mention of themselves in some article or another. What am I? An SA. And I keep thinking that within two-three years top after I leave this place, any mark I make on it is gone. Wiped clean, like a sand castle in high tide (ok, middle of the night, first time on third shift in a week...forgive the melancholy).

And, then, I think well...wouldn't I make more of a mark in a small place, maybe having something that I can do with my hands. A store in the center of a small town. Be the woman in the flowing white dress from movies gallore that offers the sage advice, the comfort, the athames, and a positive outlook to overstressed people? And I am scared of that too, because I might get it and not like it and then what?

I'll stop here. But...wow. Yeah, I get what you're thinking.