[6 weeks] Hibernate and calculate

[flexagon]

There was a lot of thinking about money this past week, between doing calculations for Q4 estimated taxes (due on the 15th if I was going to owe any) and continuing to look into COBRA and ACA health plan coverage. On the first one, nope, and indeed we're going to get a massive refund because I was over-withholding -- not great, but at least now I know that. I tried to fix withholding for the rest of 2025, but this of course is futile because Zillian is going to withhold from my paychecks as if I were going to be working all year. Which I'm not. (What has it got in its tax bracketses? String, or nothing!) In short, a lot of number crunching, and nothing to show for it but a faint feeling of dismay. Health insurance is going to cost more than I wish, whether we choose COBRA in the short term or not.

I took Caltrop to the vet for a checkup and vaccination, the little hellion going uncharacteristically limp and meek in the exam room out of nervousness.

I went to the office Wednesday and Thursday, struck by its beauty in the way that things strike you when you won't have them for long. So much care has gone into designing the common spaces that I'm tempted to go in just for a photoshoot, one of these weekends before I leave. My work bestie gave me an emotional support dumpster fire (from here, I think), and sure enough there were some dumpster moves from top management. The head of my product was surprisingly forthcoming about not doing mass layoffs in the next few weeks, though, and my own teams' plans for the first quarter got mostly approved on Friday. Very good, very good. My personal course is now fairly clear: performance ratings are released on Thursday, compensation planning is in a week after that, and then maybe I can cruise through to March 1 without significant drama. Things aren't perfect, but I listened in on someone else's quarter-plans and those were even less perfect; I came away feeling that I can likely fly under the radar for a few final, quiet weeks.

This has been a weekend of FOMO for me; unusual. I can usually embrace the joy of missing out with no problem. But this is the long weekend that lots of big things happen; there are several weekend-long events I'm not invited to, and even Helios and Perse flew off for a witchy masquerade out of state that involved fabulous dressing up. I have just been hanging out being responsible, pushing lots of little projects forward (both work and personal), and somehow picking up a new sniffle & sneeziness today (noooooo). I prioritized going to open studio today just to force myself to have some social time.

Also made my first post on BlueSky. So there's that.

Comments

[tactilemuse]

Our one cat, Ravioli Beans, is usually the noisiest most "in charge" cat in the house and the whole way to the vet she's crying and complaining. We get there and BOOM, cooked spaghetti noodle. Nervous, no sounds, jump limp noodle. It makes me laugh every time bc if they could just hear her at home doing her characteristic BEEP sound she makes and doing big leaps and running like a maniac, they'd laugh too. I have a Bluesky too. Same user name there if you want to find me. I wasn't a huge fan of Twitter back in the day, I'm a long format werewolf as evidenced by my posts and comments, so the short character limit never suited me. I wanted SOME way to stay in touch with people I knew since kicking FB to the curb last year the start and IG at the end.

[flexagon]

I followed you on bsky. Because if you haven't read Cat Valente's amazing essay on finding good people, over and over, on different forums as they go bad one by one, I really recommend it:
https://catvalente.substack.com/p/stop-talking-to-each-other-and-start

I never really understood the Twitter/X format but I'll figure it out, at some point. And in the meantime, I take comfort in knowing that my cat is not the only ridiculous limp vet noodle!

[tactilemuse]

Well, I loved that article. I couldn't have said it better myself. I wasn't ever into TikTok, I made one years ago and had a few get way too many views for my liking and then the shopping bit started and I delete my acct and never looked back. It was also a thing I hated about IG. I loathe being sold/advertised too on every single site and platform I use. I saw a quote last week where someone said, "I love reading physical books bc it's one of the few moments in my day where I'm not being advertised to." and I feel that so much.

[flexagon]

Right? I'm someone who originally liked targeted advertising, because I do want to know about things I would like and I don't want my time/eyeballs wasted on stuff I'm not interested in. But that was 25 years ago. All this "free" stuff that's paid for by advertising, which makes me the product, is too much. I like the fact that I'm paying for Dreamwidth. I'll probably consider switching to a paid search engine, too, once I'm done with... well... you've probably figured out who my employer "Zillian" is, by now. It's another misspelled large number with a search engine.

As we type, I am watching the squirrels and birds in the back yard. They also don't advertise, except perhaps I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive!. So that's how the refuge shapes up: Dreamwidth, books and the back yard.

[tactilemuse]

Yes! I thought it was incredible to be able to be shown things or artists or musicians that seemed inline with my tastes bc I'm not historically someone who had the focus to go and find those new things on my own. I was often a "Wait for it to present itself at the right time" person. Since backing off of socials and now being fully off anything Meta and TikTok for a while I've spent considerably less. While not addressing the root of the issue (mine specifically being shopping as a dopamine bump or as a means of self soothing when agoraphobia/anxiety is bad etc); the lack thereof has helped me recognize WHEN I am prone to doing that and that it is in fact what I was doing.

I am so glad you're making steps to be able to leave there. My similar plan for my work force mgmt job in a health insurance system is slow going bc of a potential (hopeful) move, but I very much hope to be in a similar boat by this time next year.