The storm before the calm
Mar. 9th, 2025 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexagonAudience: Well? Did she do it?
Narrator: She did.
Yep. I told my director last Monday that I'm retiring, and it was hard on both of us -- on him because he was surprised, and he likes me, and it was his job to try to retain me, and on me because he tossed out a few ideas for reorgs of my people that would've been really disruptive. As expected, we came to no conclusions on announcement date or exit date, so I felt pretty awful that day and the next. On Tuesday, his manager (my skip) sent me a nice note saying she quite understood, and that they'll miss me. On Wednesday the director came back with a reasonable idea on where to put my teams (not quite what I'd wanted, but B+ and I can live with it), and on Friday we all decided to go ahead and announce it over the course of next week rather than waiting longer. The cascade of communication over the next 3 days will be annoying and taxing, but thus far I've felt better with each person who knows. Each person I can talk to without lying. Between fretting about my teams and the actual promotion cases I'm writing up, my brain is all jitter and whirr, and I haven't been sleeping super well most nights.
(Magnesium glycinate helps, as does THC, as do squirrel snuggles.)
I've done some pragmatic things like bring home a couple of personal items, cancel my union membership, and cancel future commuter benefits. And scheduled one last massage at the office, using massage points that would otherwise have vanished into the ether.
What else has happened? Um. Daylight Saving time. Hate losing an hour, love keeping some light in the sky a little later into the evening. Did a few minor things related to the house -- calling a plumber to fix the outdoor faucets before painting happens later in the month, and then a realtor to take their lockbox off the faucet before the plumber gets there. Also trying to get the neighbors to agree to take down some dead/dying trees, which I think we're getting close on. I suppose this sounds like a pain, but no, tweaking and improving the house is the fun part.
I've had tiny flashes of happiness, like when I'm walking to circus class listening to an audiobook and thinking how luxurious it is to not be rushed, and how that sort of thing can be the norm in the future if I want. But I haven't in any way set down the burden of feeling responsible for work stuff, yet.
Narrator: She did.
Yep. I told my director last Monday that I'm retiring, and it was hard on both of us -- on him because he was surprised, and he likes me, and it was his job to try to retain me, and on me because he tossed out a few ideas for reorgs of my people that would've been really disruptive. As expected, we came to no conclusions on announcement date or exit date, so I felt pretty awful that day and the next. On Tuesday, his manager (my skip) sent me a nice note saying she quite understood, and that they'll miss me. On Wednesday the director came back with a reasonable idea on where to put my teams (not quite what I'd wanted, but B+ and I can live with it), and on Friday we all decided to go ahead and announce it over the course of next week rather than waiting longer. The cascade of communication over the next 3 days will be annoying and taxing, but thus far I've felt better with each person who knows. Each person I can talk to without lying. Between fretting about my teams and the actual promotion cases I'm writing up, my brain is all jitter and whirr, and I haven't been sleeping super well most nights.
(Magnesium glycinate helps, as does THC, as do squirrel snuggles.)
I've done some pragmatic things like bring home a couple of personal items, cancel my union membership, and cancel future commuter benefits. And scheduled one last massage at the office, using massage points that would otherwise have vanished into the ether.
What else has happened? Um. Daylight Saving time. Hate losing an hour, love keeping some light in the sky a little later into the evening. Did a few minor things related to the house -- calling a plumber to fix the outdoor faucets before painting happens later in the month, and then a realtor to take their lockbox off the faucet before the plumber gets there. Also trying to get the neighbors to agree to take down some dead/dying trees, which I think we're getting close on. I suppose this sounds like a pain, but no, tweaking and improving the house is the fun part.
I've had tiny flashes of happiness, like when I'm walking to circus class listening to an audiobook and thinking how luxurious it is to not be rushed, and how that sort of thing can be the norm in the future if I want. But I haven't in any way set down the burden of feeling responsible for work stuff, yet.
