Due diligence?
Sep. 18th, 2004 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexagonWow... here's a very spiritual view of the decision not to have children. Take out most of the Goddess-y stuff and that's exactly how I feel.
I read a huge swath of Our Bodies, Ourselves tonight... I have the '92 edition, and I found it very lacking in an explicitly childfree perspective, though it was certainly open to women making that choice. I bet that's changed. I read quite a lot about motherhood, and sex, and sterilization, and as always came away feeling like I'd gotten a big hug from someone wise. I am, you see, trying to do at least a bit of last-minute deep thinking on the whole issue. If I feel regret in 10 years, I'd rather at least be able to look back and remember I didn't do it too blithely. I fear it isn't working though. I've thought too much about it already... now I just keep drifting off into daydreams about Valium, which I've never had before and I'll get to have on Thursday before the procedure. Mmm, I've heard Valium is goooooood. I can't wait. :)
I read a huge swath of Our Bodies, Ourselves tonight... I have the '92 edition, and I found it very lacking in an explicitly childfree perspective, though it was certainly open to women making that choice. I bet that's changed. I read quite a lot about motherhood, and sex, and sterilization, and as always came away feeling like I'd gotten a big hug from someone wise. I am, you see, trying to do at least a bit of last-minute deep thinking on the whole issue. If I feel regret in 10 years, I'd rather at least be able to look back and remember I didn't do it too blithely. I fear it isn't working though. I've thought too much about it already... now I just keep drifting off into daydreams about Valium, which I've never had before and I'll get to have on Thursday before the procedure. Mmm, I've heard Valium is goooooood. I can't wait. :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-09-19 09:02 am (UTC)I think it has to do with the assumption that if you don't want to have children you must actively hate them. I enjoy children tremendously (though only up to about age 11, then they make my skin crawl) but it really confuses people to know that and then hear that I don't want any of my own. I also think it's because I am semi-newly married. Now that we have been married over a year it's just expected that we have adjusted to the marriage thing so now we should be adjusting to the baby thing. *sigh*
I think my new response will be "I have other priorities" and leave it at that. What I want to say is "That's a highly personal decision and it's none of your fucking business" but I really can't get away with that. What boggles my mind is that it's a socially acceptable topic and/or question for complete strangers to bring up. As if my reproductive life is meant to be public knowledge because I happened to be born with a uterus.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-23 04:00 am (UTC)Hmm, I like it. Mature and adult-sounding... though possibly not conversation-ending, if the person thinks you would want them if only you were not trapped in the rat race. Still, pretty damn good, and I may use it.
I've been leaning toward raised eyebrows and "Good heavens, no" when asked if I'm going to. Less nice. But it shuts people up. :)