Things fall through the cracks

[flexagon]

In a discussion with hiddenbear lately, it became obvious that I haven't been clear about still liking my job. So, for the record: I do still like my job a great deal. The things that are changing so far are not the job itself, just the peripherals (though it's true there are a lot of peripherals, and they are distracting). Actually, at the moment I'm just wishing I was as smart as the other people there -- I checked in something rather critical last night that broke even though I did a full regression test. The good news is that it got caught and fixed before midnight by one of the supersmart people in the team I'm working with -- the bad news is that then I got to explain to a big email list why the problem sneaked through my tests. Augh. I know it's best that the change got checked in, since I'm not there today and at least this way they have a build with the new feature. But it would be nice if it had been clean, because now I'm all embarrassed.

Anyway. Not at work anymore. The thing to do is to pack for my trip to Montana. Ugh... I haven't been there since I was 20. Will I be able to appreciate the pretty mountains now that I'm older? Maybe. It'll help that I don't have to actually go near my childhood home.

I had a pretty transparent anxiety dream about my dad last night... I dreamed I was back in our old house and getting in trouble for minor midemeanors like not eating the crusty ends of bread, and not having socks on (something he used to get very angry about when I was little). All well and good, I suppose -- at least my subconscious forgot I'm scared about seeing my aunts too.

Comments

[hiddenbear.livejournal.com]

Have a great trip! I hope things go easily with the fam'damily.

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

Good luck on your trip...I hope it's better than you're expecting. :)

[savage-rose.livejournal.com]

Perfectionism can be a disease :P. Because eating breadcrusts really makes you perfect, right?

You'll be ok. ::hugs::

[apfelsingail.livejournal.com]

Yikes- have a great trip, and good luck with your folks!

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I'm sympathetic -- family visits are fairly traumatic for me also. There's a reason I moved several hundred miles away. But what I've learned is that usually I build it up in my head to be worse than it really will be. I hope that's the case for you, too.