Jul. 16th, 2007

flexagon: (Default)
All right... I've submitted my shiny new resume to the large famous search company (though I'm not, currently, feeling lucky) and to the headhunter I most like. This is not a commitment to quit Colubrid, but it is a response to the feelings of hopelessness and marginalization I've felt lately. It is tremendously invigorating to get into the game, as I recall, and I could use some of that.

My coworker, for whom I don't have a clever acronym, thinks I am valuable to my team, and apparently told my boss that "the wheels would come off the bus" if I left. I'm actually quite touched by this, but don't see how it can be true when I haven't been working on the chassis of the bus for over a freaking year. I've been off being entrusted with side projects -- such an honor, over away from the group with my finger in some dike or other to keep us from being flooded, not doing the job I was so happy about doing when I hired on. Today I essentially had an onsite personal day (mostly looking up bits of data for my resume) and didn't do a damn thing for Colubrid, which is something I'd never have done in the Politic Frog days, and did anything bad happen? No it did not.

Sigh... I really wanted to slow down for the summer and I've failed so far. I don't feel at all like I have the energy to tackle a new job, but I also don't have a lot to give to this job right now, either. I gave it a lot a few months ago, trying desperately to stop a bad idea from spreading, and nothing happened, so I'm just shit out of energy and the orange light is blinking on the attitude indicator. My vacation balance is at zero now; there's nothing for it but to get sickety sick sick. Anyone have a cold who can come over and cough on me, please?

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