Puttin' it out there

[flexagon]

All right... I've submitted my shiny new resume to the large famous search company (though I'm not, currently, feeling lucky) and to the headhunter I most like. This is not a commitment to quit Colubrid, but it is a response to the feelings of hopelessness and marginalization I've felt lately. It is tremendously invigorating to get into the game, as I recall, and I could use some of that.

My coworker, for whom I don't have a clever acronym, thinks I am valuable to my team, and apparently told my boss that "the wheels would come off the bus" if I left. I'm actually quite touched by this, but don't see how it can be true when I haven't been working on the chassis of the bus for over a freaking year. I've been off being entrusted with side projects -- such an honor, over away from the group with my finger in some dike or other to keep us from being flooded, not doing the job I was so happy about doing when I hired on. Today I essentially had an onsite personal day (mostly looking up bits of data for my resume) and didn't do a damn thing for Colubrid, which is something I'd never have done in the Politic Frog days, and did anything bad happen? No it did not.

Sigh... I really wanted to slow down for the summer and I've failed so far. I don't feel at all like I have the energy to tackle a new job, but I also don't have a lot to give to this job right now, either. I gave it a lot a few months ago, trying desperately to stop a bad idea from spreading, and nothing happened, so I'm just shit out of energy and the orange light is blinking on the attitude indicator. My vacation balance is at zero now; there's nothing for it but to get sickety sick sick. Anyone have a cold who can come over and cough on me, please?

Comments

Sickness for sale, cheap

[taegubcrusade.livejournal.com]

My oldest has a yucky thing with fever and vomit. I washed my hands before lunch today, but I could make a point not to on Thursday. Maybe I could even get her to cough into a little plastic bag, for you.

As for the wheels on the bus, I suspect that the comment was more about team morale, or quite possibly, that person's morale. I don't think it's so much that you're invaluable technically (though you probably are), but that you have both the wherewithal to try to "stop a bad idea from spreading" without leaving behind the sort of flaming carnage that said coworker would leave. (And if he needs an acronym, how 'bout ET, the Extra Terrestrial?)

Re: Sickness for sale, cheap

[flexagon]

Awesome on the fever/vomit thing! That sounds perfect.

And, I suspect you're right. I failed to prevent the bad idea from spreading, but it was tactful, and who else is going to entertain the team by trying to teach Nermal to juggle when all the computers go down? Worse, if I leave and ET leaves... well, but I can't take responsibility for that.

[silver-spork.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the job search. I was at this point with my job late last year. I didn't feel that I had enough responsibility, and I was bored as hell. Luckily, I was able to tactfully bring this up with my boss using phrases like

"I feel underutilized"
"a little more stress would be good for me"
"I can do more for the company than what I'm doing now"

A couple of months later, I was in a new position with much more responsibility and although it's 80% herding cats and 20% my own research, I'm much happier. Added bonus - I got a fat restricted stock grant out of the deal.

[flexagon]

Thanks. I find myself already feeling better just by thinking about it.

I love your wording suggestions and I'm glad it's worked out for you! In my case it was more like "I feel utilized in a different way than my core competence" and, well, I forget quite how I said it, but basically "if I'm still on this project when I get the last of my retention bonus, I will take myself off the project by making employment decisions other than staying here." :)

Looks like Silver Fox is going to meet that deadline by days, and in fact I'm just now starting my next project and that does make me feel way better, but in the meantime it doesn't hurt to have my nose up and sniffing around.

[apfelsingail.livejournal.com]

Wow- good for you on seeing what's out there. It does seem like it might be a good time to make some changes.... I just can't wait to see where you end up!

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

You're self aware enough to figure out what you want and competent enough to make that happen, whatever it is. I feel for you; it's frustrating to feel like your job just doesn't fit but it could if...

[flexagon]

And it used to when...!