![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So I think I've had bad dreams about work twice in a row now. I dream that videoconferencing doesn't quite work, I dream that I massively break ethical standards by emailing something confidential to myself from someone else's email and am just waiting to get caught and fired, I dream that there's exercise equipment at work but it's all really weirdly cramped up in a corner and there's something dangerous about it. Sigh... what the fuck... I'm not even in trouble these days, in fact the Noid has been trying to cheer me up. I got something working today that, while small, has been vexing me off and on for a few days, and maybe that will help. I wonder if I've mentioned lately... I'm not all that GOOD at starting new jobs. I hope Zillian eventually decides to like me, because I'm staying... I don't care to do this again for a few years. ETA: from my limited number of data points, it seems to take six months to not feel like an alien. I'm just past that point, and sure enough, on good days I'm just starting to not feel that way.
Having a plan helps (hint: it's not limited to this but it starts there). But with my final algorithms exam coming on Monday (a whole other set of worries, I never did fully understand the FFT, or reductions of problems to NP-complete ones either), I'm too tired to feel smart or to get un-slumped... I feel more like, as usual, when I'm at the end of my rope all I have left is stubbornness. Is that even the right tool to apply? I think so, actually, but when all you have is a hammer... you know. :-/
Strangely, there's a giant triumph-post coming in the near future, because a lot of things are ending, and tiny incremental things do add up. That's one thing I like. I think I'll drink the last hard cider from the fridge and go work toward that post. As for you, take a look at this super-cool mathematical sculpture site, because it rocks a whole lot harder than this post does.
Having a plan helps (hint: it's not limited to this but it starts there). But with my final algorithms exam coming on Monday (a whole other set of worries, I never did fully understand the FFT, or reductions of problems to NP-complete ones either), I'm too tired to feel smart or to get un-slumped... I feel more like, as usual, when I'm at the end of my rope all I have left is stubbornness. Is that even the right tool to apply? I think so, actually, but when all you have is a hammer... you know. :-/
Strangely, there's a giant triumph-post coming in the near future, because a lot of things are ending, and tiny incremental things do add up. That's one thing I like. I think I'll drink the last hard cider from the fridge and go work toward that post. As for you, take a look at this super-cool mathematical sculpture site, because it rocks a whole lot harder than this post does.
