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Musings about disability
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:42 pmHaving a bad cold this weekend really made me think about what it would be like to have a chronic disability.
If the last three days (not today, but the three previous ones) were to become the new normal, I'd always need 12 hours of sleep -- a normally scheduled night of sleep plus a 4-hour nap in the afternoon, with no chance of doing any all-day activities. I'd be able to read and knit. I'd be able to work on a computer for two to three hours per day, in the morning, but it would be impossible to work a full-time job, and I'd have to work from home because I'd only be good for one trip out of the house per day. My usual workouts would be out of the question. I like to think I'd work some gentle yoga or stretching into my days, but that's hard when the thought of taking a shower or going up and down the stairs to get laundry are overwhelming, so I have no idea what would happen to me physically... I do know I'd be too tired to mind much.
Today I feel way better. If today were to become the new normal, it wouldn't be so bad... I could work. I could modify my exercise routines (cardio would be out of the question with a permanent breathing impediment, but I could keep weightlifting 3 or 4 times a week.) I might not have free time, and it would be better for me to work part-time rather than full-time, but my current life wouldn't have to crumble immediately.
Mercifully, neither of these things is the case. I'm returning to full energy, and soon I won't be able to imagine how taking a shower could seem overwhelming. In fact, the thought of being so tired will be frightening (though when it was actually happening, I was too sluggish to be scared). Health is one of those things I usually take for granted, maybe because if I didn't it would be all I could think about. The alternatives are too scary to dwell on too often.
If the last three days (not today, but the three previous ones) were to become the new normal, I'd always need 12 hours of sleep -- a normally scheduled night of sleep plus a 4-hour nap in the afternoon, with no chance of doing any all-day activities. I'd be able to read and knit. I'd be able to work on a computer for two to three hours per day, in the morning, but it would be impossible to work a full-time job, and I'd have to work from home because I'd only be good for one trip out of the house per day. My usual workouts would be out of the question. I like to think I'd work some gentle yoga or stretching into my days, but that's hard when the thought of taking a shower or going up and down the stairs to get laundry are overwhelming, so I have no idea what would happen to me physically... I do know I'd be too tired to mind much.
Today I feel way better. If today were to become the new normal, it wouldn't be so bad... I could work. I could modify my exercise routines (cardio would be out of the question with a permanent breathing impediment, but I could keep weightlifting 3 or 4 times a week.) I might not have free time, and it would be better for me to work part-time rather than full-time, but my current life wouldn't have to crumble immediately.
Mercifully, neither of these things is the case. I'm returning to full energy, and soon I won't be able to imagine how taking a shower could seem overwhelming. In fact, the thought of being so tired will be frightening (though when it was actually happening, I was too sluggish to be scared). Health is one of those things I usually take for granted, maybe because if I didn't it would be all I could think about. The alternatives are too scary to dwell on too often.
