Dietary restrictions suck

I dislike this no-dairy thing. I don't like the constant worry about slipping up: oh no, that cauliflower tastes awfully buttery, did I miss something? Oh crap, that bite of bread was dusted with parmesan, throw the rest away.

I don't know how much I have to eat before I'll see the difference in my skin. I know I tried to cheat a little (or a lot) over a week ago... peanut butter cookies on Saturday, some creamy pasta leftover from Alan's dinner on Sunday, then a chocolate thing with coraline on Tuesday whose dairy content I did not ask about. Sure enough, I broke out and have slowly been clearing up ever since. I don't think I can have always been so sensitive in this way -- the break from dairy may be allowing my skin to become MORE sensitive to it.

What I don't like is how food seems potentially harmful now, in a direct and short-term way. Scary, and a lot of the joy has gone out of eating. I've purposely added a few things back into my diet that I'd mostly removed a while ago, like weekly french fries, just to regain a little of that.

I've heard a lot of my friends struggle with food issues over the years, and I've really never understood them at all until lately.