One weird little moment
Feb. 1st, 2020 11:45 am...from two weekends ago, when I was in a room with someone and I gave them a neck rub. They knew I had been tapped out and tired/freaked/stressed, and they were getting pretty tired too, and somewhere in there they said "I didn't expect to be doing so much receiving, knowing how you were feeling."
I didn't know how to tell them that giving whatever to one person, who seems generally straightforward, in a simple environment, is such easy mode for me that my motor was barely ticking over. I was being generous and paying attention etc and it was just force of habit, and I feel weird about that. Not because anything was wrong there, but because maybe my normal life is tapping me out all the time and I've gotten too used to it?
I didn't know how to tell them that giving whatever to one person, who seems generally straightforward, in a simple environment, is such easy mode for me that my motor was barely ticking over. I was being generous and paying attention etc and it was just force of habit, and I feel weird about that. Not because anything was wrong there, but because maybe my normal life is tapping me out all the time and I've gotten too used to it?