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I'm still, I'm still, an animal
Dec. 23rd, 2024 05:50 pmWritten mostly on Sunday, posted on Monday
I finished listening to the official Coachella 2025 playlist, net outcome of 10 Liked songs out of 204 but I'm happy with myself for exploring out of my musical comfort zone (I recognized FKA Twigs from recent NYT crossword puzzle clues -- hah). I've actually decided to do another long playlist, but only after cleansing my palate with some Sisters of Mercy. In the meantime, the song Animal, which is one of the ten, is stuck in my head:
"Changed my shapes just to hide in this place, but I'm still, I'm still, an animal."
Because that reminds me of corporate life. And I'm almost on vacation, so much so that I'm letting myself feel like I am -- I'm working on Monday but it's just a "clear the decks" day, and then nothing until Jan 6 -- and then it will truly not be long until I can have The Talk with my director and get on with the rest of the puzzle. Last night and this morning I sat around reading happy queer SF and drinking various beverages, and I was so disproportionately happy. Yes friends, I may have committed some light burnout.
Whatever you call Wednesday, in its atheist incarnation I like it quite a bit; the presents, the smell of the tree, the chance to take time off without incurring the wrath of my inbox. This year I'm also using "presents" as an avenue for eldercare for my dad's household, which means his wife is getting a body pillow and a good set of headphones for her bad hip and worsening eyesight.
Acro last Monday felt super good, again. Getting some of the feeling back. Remembering how to step into thin air, unafraid and steady, laughing with someone else when something goes hilariously wrong. Remembering also why it's a good idea to wear pantiliners for the higher-impact stuff, whups... well anyway. And I want to move more like that when I'm in handstand, where I'm so much less likely to stick with something and not give up (and move gently and not overcorrect). So that's a thing I'm thinking about now. My handstand work is coming back too, after a few weeks of not being disrupted by travel, and that feels good too, even if we're not getting as far as my coach and I had both hoped for this session.
Monday workday is over and my thoughts are quite inchoate. Caring feelings about my polycule, desires to do more wrap-it-up type work, tiredness, more tiredness. This system goes and goes, but once it feels it has permission to relax, oh does it flomp. The next couple of weeks should help. So for the moment, off to chill for a few minutes and then cook dinner and do a fairly short workout.
I finished listening to the official Coachella 2025 playlist, net outcome of 10 Liked songs out of 204 but I'm happy with myself for exploring out of my musical comfort zone (I recognized FKA Twigs from recent NYT crossword puzzle clues -- hah). I've actually decided to do another long playlist, but only after cleansing my palate with some Sisters of Mercy. In the meantime, the song Animal, which is one of the ten, is stuck in my head:
"Changed my shapes just to hide in this place, but I'm still, I'm still, an animal."
Because that reminds me of corporate life. And I'm almost on vacation, so much so that I'm letting myself feel like I am -- I'm working on Monday but it's just a "clear the decks" day, and then nothing until Jan 6 -- and then it will truly not be long until I can have The Talk with my director and get on with the rest of the puzzle. Last night and this morning I sat around reading happy queer SF and drinking various beverages, and I was so disproportionately happy. Yes friends, I may have committed some light burnout.
Whatever you call Wednesday, in its atheist incarnation I like it quite a bit; the presents, the smell of the tree, the chance to take time off without incurring the wrath of my inbox. This year I'm also using "presents" as an avenue for eldercare for my dad's household, which means his wife is getting a body pillow and a good set of headphones for her bad hip and worsening eyesight.
Acro last Monday felt super good, again. Getting some of the feeling back. Remembering how to step into thin air, unafraid and steady, laughing with someone else when something goes hilariously wrong. Remembering also why it's a good idea to wear pantiliners for the higher-impact stuff, whups... well anyway. And I want to move more like that when I'm in handstand, where I'm so much less likely to stick with something and not give up (and move gently and not overcorrect). So that's a thing I'm thinking about now. My handstand work is coming back too, after a few weeks of not being disrupted by travel, and that feels good too, even if we're not getting as far as my coach and I had both hoped for this session.
Monday workday is over and my thoughts are quite inchoate. Caring feelings about my polycule, desires to do more wrap-it-up type work, tiredness, more tiredness. This system goes and goes, but once it feels it has permission to relax, oh does it flomp. The next couple of weeks should help. So for the moment, off to chill for a few minutes and then cook dinner and do a fairly short workout.
