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flexagonOh god, I don't feel like doing code-type thinking today. I feel verbal. And if anyone names the story that verbal gerbils are from, I'll give you cookies.
* For one thing, I just finished Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin (you've heard of her, yes? The high-functioning autistic woman who designs animal handling systems). As with anything on autism, a lot of things she said aroused echos in me. Most especially, it made me really, really wonder again whether the things I feel during social interactions are the things other people feel. See, like Temple and other people on the autism/aspergers/geek spectrum, I had to learn a lot of social interaction rules very intellectually and slowly. But the years passed; I learned, and got pretty good at it. When I'm with other people I often do still feel like I'm in a play, but I also feel like I'm a good actor who usually likes acting and who usually has a deep understanding of her part. I react emotionally and I have intuition... sure... but then, I have that level of ease about anything else I've been practicing all my life (walking, writing, tying my shoes). I wonder if this is part of the reason I don't really resent social niceties -- or rather, part of me does, but the other part is delighted at any part of social life that seems fairly rule-based (bring a hostess gift, do this, do that and people will find your behavior appropriate. Yay! So easy). Those who've been reading this for a while can easily see how this ties in to my not knowing if I'm "generous" or not. Doing things for other people is fun sometimes, and I do it sincerely, but I also know I'm buying social goodwill by doing it. Same with working: when communicating (especially between teams) I very, very often think of it as acting, and sometimes I do get emotionally involved but other times I just get confused when other people do.
As a side note: I IM'ed most of that paragraph to a friend here, and he said: I've more or less come to the conclusion that folks like you and I are coloring with essentially the same crayons as most of the folks out there, it's just that we are also seeing a lot more complexity and it can be overwhelming. Maybe, but damn it, it's just so nice when the subconscious can take over. Processing's hard work.
* For another thing, I keep having to relearn some really simple physics regarding handstands! Note to self: to straddle up easily you must bring your head forward of your hands before trying to jump anywhere, doofus. Without that, it's hard. Based on yoga tonight, letting the head come through also helps a lot when trying to jump feet to hands with straight legs.
* We just interviewed a managerial candidate today who I would actually like to work for/with. It's a woman I once knew (just barely) from a figure skating club I used to go to, which might have been a little odd but actually wasn't. I hope we have the resources to get her. I don't want a sucky manager.
* Found out what the deal is with "im in ur something verbing ur somethingelse":
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/I_am_in_your_base_killing_your_d00ds
* Lastly, house stuff. I just got a letter from my gym letting me sign up for 1,2 or 3 more years, which made me wonder whether we'll have this condo for three more years. Answer: yeah, probably. We haven't even fixed up the kitchen yet! There is some work going on right now though -- the front and back stairwells are both being replastered, which means both sets of stairs are entirely covered with weird, really strong paper, and we can't get out our front door, and it smells funny and white powder is coming in under the doors. I'm glad now that our insurance made us get handrails, because that led to "well, while we're messing with the stairwells why don't we just..." and the walls have been in lousy shape ever since we moved in.
* For one thing, I just finished Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin (you've heard of her, yes? The high-functioning autistic woman who designs animal handling systems). As with anything on autism, a lot of things she said aroused echos in me. Most especially, it made me really, really wonder again whether the things I feel during social interactions are the things other people feel. See, like Temple and other people on the autism/aspergers/geek spectrum, I had to learn a lot of social interaction rules very intellectually and slowly. But the years passed; I learned, and got pretty good at it. When I'm with other people I often do still feel like I'm in a play, but I also feel like I'm a good actor who usually likes acting and who usually has a deep understanding of her part. I react emotionally and I have intuition... sure... but then, I have that level of ease about anything else I've been practicing all my life (walking, writing, tying my shoes). I wonder if this is part of the reason I don't really resent social niceties -- or rather, part of me does, but the other part is delighted at any part of social life that seems fairly rule-based (bring a hostess gift, do this, do that and people will find your behavior appropriate. Yay! So easy). Those who've been reading this for a while can easily see how this ties in to my not knowing if I'm "generous" or not. Doing things for other people is fun sometimes, and I do it sincerely, but I also know I'm buying social goodwill by doing it. Same with working: when communicating (especially between teams) I very, very often think of it as acting, and sometimes I do get emotionally involved but other times I just get confused when other people do.
As a side note: I IM'ed most of that paragraph to a friend here, and he said: I've more or less come to the conclusion that folks like you and I are coloring with essentially the same crayons as most of the folks out there, it's just that we are also seeing a lot more complexity and it can be overwhelming. Maybe, but damn it, it's just so nice when the subconscious can take over. Processing's hard work.
* For another thing, I keep having to relearn some really simple physics regarding handstands! Note to self: to straddle up easily you must bring your head forward of your hands before trying to jump anywhere, doofus. Without that, it's hard. Based on yoga tonight, letting the head come through also helps a lot when trying to jump feet to hands with straight legs.
* We just interviewed a managerial candidate today who I would actually like to work for/with. It's a woman I once knew (just barely) from a figure skating club I used to go to, which might have been a little odd but actually wasn't. I hope we have the resources to get her. I don't want a sucky manager.
* Found out what the deal is with "im in ur something verbing ur somethingelse":
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/I_am_in_your_base_killing_your_d00ds
* Lastly, house stuff. I just got a letter from my gym letting me sign up for 1,2 or 3 more years, which made me wonder whether we'll have this condo for three more years. Answer: yeah, probably. We haven't even fixed up the kitchen yet! There is some work going on right now though -- the front and back stairwells are both being replastered, which means both sets of stairs are entirely covered with weird, really strong paper, and we can't get out our front door, and it smells funny and white powder is coming in under the doors. I'm glad now that our insurance made us get handrails, because that led to "well, while we're messing with the stairwells why don't we just..." and the walls have been in lousy shape ever since we moved in.
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-20 06:17 pm (UTC)I would agree with what your friend said wholeheartedly. And also with what you said. I'd have more to say on that expect I think they/you said it pretty elegantly. :)
As for the asperger's traits...I always thought that the people who are really on that spectrum don't become comfortable with the nuances and emotive aspects of social interactions, even if they become very good at following the rules and playing the roles?
no subject
Date: 2006-11-23 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-27 06:18 am (UTC)I would actually say the same for you (that it is likely nurture not nature) - clearly I'm not in your head, so perhaps I'm wrong, but you seem too intuitive to be aspergers. Actually, well, anyway, let me back up: I think most people, if they examined themselves half as much as you and I are prone to doing, would see potential aspergers-ish traits in themselves?
no subject
Date: 2006-12-01 02:23 am (UTC)Overthinking can make you see everything in yourself... that's why overthinking is fun! =^_^=