Let's light a nondenominational holiday fire!

[flexagon]

Ready for Christmas: presents under the tree, many delicious groceries awaiting preparation, reasonably relaxed after a couple of days off work... ahhh. I like Christmas. I interpret it as a project that most of the nation works on together, a project to counteract the darkest part of the year with festivity and have a day to celebrate coziness and each other without the usual pressures of the outside world. It couldn't work so well without near 100% participation. I find I like Christmas even better now that I'm not Christian at all, because I can unabashedly love it for the colored lights... the way I always did, except without the guilt.

I got drunk at the office holiday party, but don't remember doing anything worse than biting my toes in front of my boss.

Some interesting discussions about Boston, work, and Manhattan have threaded through my life recently. Last night I had myself 50% convinced that we should indeed move to NYC, and a lot of my reasoning had to do with all my friends leaving Boston anyway (whine, whine). I'm not sure that reasoning stands up now that it's not 2 AM; the part about taking classes at Lava still does, but if I move anytime soon, Dark Sister will kill me, because that's the other thing about Boston that I forget when depressed -- people come back! Which reminds me: I was told lately that I'm willing to give up a lot to live in a city. I tried to think of what I was giving up, and most of the things I thought of ended with ...if you're into that sort of thing anyway. Still, I'm giving up some things I used to like:

1. Can't just dig a pit and light a bonfire in the yard.


2. Fireworks are illegal here, which kind of sucks.

So now you know: I am a pyromaniac and the city stops me. Aren't you glad?

Comments

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

You are totally right that happiness depends on what you see. I wouldn't say lucky is a bad word for you, but remember 3 good things, and the fact that you absolutely earned that happiness, and have the good sense to recognize what you like. I wish I didn't have so many conflicting impulses.

I realize this is a very glass half empty response, but one of the "worst" things about all my moving is that I am not entirely sure I'll ever be satisfied with any one place. I want it all. I appreciated the great things about all of the places I've lived (well, the ones that HAD any good things ;-)), but I also recognize the bad.

I love and hate the city. I love the energy. I love the convenience of having shopping and culture nearby, and I love how the city seems to have such a high standard of achievement. You're right about reading on the T, but I physically like driving and I like having my own schedule and a way to easily carry all the crap I need for a day. I don't love the isolation of the city (for me, the well-rehearsed choreography feels like ignoring rather than understanding), I hate the lack of personal space, and I really REALLY miss the peace I feel in the grand mountains and forests of the west. The only thing here that does the same thing for me is the ocean, and living on the ocean here is prohibitively expensive.

I can't imagine living in a suburb. Except maybe Corcord or someplace like that, one that actively tries to preserve an older feel to the neighborhoods. I can imagine living in a fairly rural area, and I obviously can imagine living in a city. Honestly I think the differential for me is $$. If I can't be rich, I'll go live in the middle of nowhere.

Anywho, I am WIPED from being on my feet for 8 hours today. Friggin' people and their needing to eat. :P Off to bed with me, Merry Christmas!!

[flexagon]

I wish I didn't have so many conflicting impulses.

Yes, that line gets right to the heart of the issue. I had this talk with Dave (my boy toy in Los Alamos) a long time ago... trying to compare how often conflicting impulses really came up in our lives. Many times in my life, I've had incredible lineups of desires, and some of that could be rose colored glasses, or too much focus on the one thing I wanted most and ignoring the rest, or just thinking things through and deciding the tradeoffs are worth it and not thinking of them ever again. I really have no idea. I don't think I'm so amazing, unless maybe I'm just amazingly easy to please. Anyway, it tends to freak me out when I do have conflicting desires. It's nice to remember that it's a normal human state.

I do love getting your perspectives on things. They all make sense and present a very self-consistent picture. What if the street weren't pretty, and what if the people silently maneuvering around me did seem rude instead of understanding and respectful? What would I think then? I do try to imagine it. (Also, maybe G really is insecure... I want to think about that more. I never thought so, but it does seem that way in his career at least.)

I grew up in all those grand mountains and forests. They don't have much to say to me. The ocean does, and the city does. It would be good to see the ocean more often. Those aren't in conflict though, they just spell San Francisco... speaking of housing markets and $$. Ummm, yeah. By which I mean to say, if you need forests that badly then you should probably go where there are some, and I can visit and you can try to tell me what they say to you.

I don't know why I'm still up. Merry Christmas for sure!