Happier, by Tal Ben-Shahar, and time poverty

[flexagon]

Yeah, I couldn't resist Happier. I haven't done the exercises; I haven't done the soul-searching. But I like his general take on it: that happiness comes from finding and pursuing activities that are both pleasurable in the moment and have long-term meaning. And I like the chapter on time and happiness:

Psychologist Tim Kasser shows in his research that time affluence is a positive predictor of well-being, whereas material affluence is not. Time affluence is the feeling that one has sufficent time to pursue activities that are personally meaningful, to reflect, to engage in leisure. Time poverty is the feeling that one is constantly stressed, rushed, overworked, behind. All we need to do is look around us -- and often within ourselves -- to realize the pervasiveness of time poverty in our culture.

To raise our levels of well-being, there is no way around simplifying our lives. This means safeguarding our time... which is not easy.

Maybe these paragraphs only caught my eye because of the P-word, and yes I do still think the P-word has to do with my C-word (you know, my alling-cay, don't say it in front of the kids). But it feels true to me. I definitely have a nasty tendency to pile on the fun and/or rewarding activities until I'm completely overbooked.

Even if the individual activities in which we engage have the potential to make us happy, we can still be unhappy on aggregate.

Word up, and drat. :(

Comments

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

To raise our levels of well-being, there is no way around simplifying our lives. This means safeguarding our time... which is not easy.

Absolutely. I've been pondering this a lot lately, along with social connections and how to structure my life around them.

[flexagon]

Reach any conclusions? A while ago I was pondering social connections and whether to structure my life around them.

I do have to cut back. Work, fitness and one other thing at a time might be about right, and it might be best if the one other thing has no deadline. :(

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

This is a rather dry way of writing/talking about it but...the only "conclusions" I've reached are that a) it is a choice. Strong social connections mean some sacrifice and work to maintain, although overall the benefit is positive and b) that I want to make it happen. I've seen so much research that suggests that people with some close interpersonal relationships and strong ties to their community live longer, stay healthier, and report more happiness. But in a less dry way, I know I WANT that feeling of connectedness more than anything, so that I can feel safe, supported, secure and accepted.

[flexagon]

Haha -- it doesn't sound that dry to me, probably because I've read about that research too. It's kind of unfortunate that religious people also report more happiness, because that one I just seem unable to manage. Interpersonal relationships are a little more tolerable. ;)

On a random note, the bug and I saw about 5 minutes of Shakespeare on the Commons last night, as we were coming back from seeing Ratatouille. It was a dance scene, and we actually thought it looked circusy / acrobaticsy, but then by the time we got closer it ended and it was Shakespeare! I thought of you. But then we kept going and went home.

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

I honestly think that religious people report more happiness because they are part of a community, not because they've found god. I haven't seen research that tried to separate the two factors, if you know of any, I'd love to see it.

I'm psyched to see these acrobatics. It better be good, we're getting there really early and it's supposed to be 90 degrees. Ick.

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

This makes a lot of sense to me. Feeling poor in terms of quality of life is what makes poverty. If you're starving, that's one thing, but if you make a good living but your time isn't your own to enjoy it, what's the point?

Guarding your time is very difficult, especially when you want to be involved in things outside of work and if you're connected to many people. I have a much larger family now that both my parents are divorced and have started separate lives and it's getting more and more difficult to guard my weekends without offending people. I don't have a solution to that yet.

[flexagon]

if you make a good living but your time isn't your own to enjoy it, what's the point?

I think a lot of people think "well, I'll have all the free time LATER, and still have this pile of money". And that's true as far as it goes, but I think by the time a lot of those people retire they've forgotten how to do the relaxing and creating that they originally dreamed of. Making all that money, and spending all that time in the rat race, changes you.

[silentq.livejournal.com]

It's taken me years to realise that I can say 'no' to things. I've recently been a lot better about saying "I can't do that then, how about another time?" or suggesting an alternate that makes it easier for me. I still default without thinking to making it easy for the other person when planning, but that's been stressing me out over the years. A few points in The Introvert Advantage (http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-Thrive-Extrovert-World/dp/0761123695) about using my limited social time wisely have helped me a lot.