Very weird few days

[flexagon]

So what's happened lately is that I worked off my ass off in order to quit Colubrid fairly cleanly on Thursday, then went to a bar to watch my friend play on that night's showing of Jeopardy (and HE WON! it was so freaking cool), then flew to Oregon the next day. On the plane I knitted a sock toe. And as of this afternoon my cousin has successfully upgraded her boyfriend to a husband, so congratulations to them.

Yep, crazy few days; I really haven't internalized much of it yet. At my cousin's wedding reception they gave everyone a little flag on which to write advice for newly married couples... I wrote something like what I always write. "Keep individual bank accounts, even if most of your money is managed jointly."

Did I mention we're staying at a hotel that has a real fitness center, with free weights? Worth the extra money, in my humble opinion. I hope the lifting good mood lasts through what my mom has planned for us tonight, which is contra dancing. Must... remain... open... minded.... ommmmmmmmmmm.

Comments

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

I'm curious. Why do you give that advice? What do you think is the advantage of individual bank accounts -- besides the obvious if things don't work out angle?

[webrat.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm weird, but I prefer if things were kept separate. Don't get me wrong, there should be a joint account for the purpose of paying bills and such, but I know I want to have my own money set aside for a rainy day. If I want to save up money for a new computer and stuff, that all goes in my account and I can purchase that computer without feeling guilty at all about it.

[flexagon]

Because it gives each person a pool of money they can spend from without discussion and without guilt (even if that pool is small). Money is the number ONE thing couples argue about... sex is only number two. I know that in our marriage, keeping things separate has reduced friction immeasurably. We do have a joint account to share some expenses with, and we have some debates sometimes about what to buy jointly... but we also have separate money, and if one of us wants to buy an expensive woodworking tool or something from that, there's no permission to ask -- we just do it. It works well.

That's why I think it's good policy. As for why I give it as advice, that'd be because I grew up in a household where both people worked, but they DIDN'T do this at all -- not even a small amount like an allowance, for "mad money". My mom used to feel guilty about spending $10 on a CD, because money was supposed to be for the family and not for her... it was pretty bad.