The pretty, the nerdy and the ugly

[flexagon]

I'm definitely doing my best to weird people out today--this is a pretty casual office, and today I'm wearing a black tango dress with a ragged handkerchief edge that flutters all over the place, and heels, and yes, pearls. It's fun to see who asks me what's going on and who just gives me an odd look. What's up, of course, is that tonight is the last tango class and I thought it'd be fun to dress up for it.

Also good: Coraline is finally out in paperback as of today, and it's on its way to me. Here's hoping it arrives before I leave for NJ next Wednesday. I really wanted to buy The Phoenix Exultant for the trip since it would have been a long enough read for sure and I just read its prequel, but noooooooo, it's not coming out in paperback until September. *snivel* *life is no fair*

Work is still evil... here's hoping I can take this weekend off, or (since I'm supposed to be loading all our stuff onto a laptop) at the very least maybe I can work from home instead of schlepping my tired self in here.

Regarding a couple of days ago: what, no replies to my bachelor(/-ette) party rant? I definitely thought we had some pro-bachelor-party types online. I was curious what they would say as they sprang to the parties' defense.

Comments

Why the secrecy?

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

If nothing bad is going on it seems like it should be like any other party where the details would naturally be shared.

It's not that I've given up hope. I was actually assuming that most don't do it...but then, in the midst of writing a reassuring note to soyfetus I stopped to think about it, and was like well, hiddenbear is vehemently against telling what is going on, so that's pretty strong evidence that there's something shady that goes on at them (since, as you say, you've been to a lot), and so I could very well be being very naive. However, still don't think HLM would be that sort. Just can't see it. Others? Can see it.

Re: Why the secrecy?

[flexagon]

Right on. Why the frickin' secrecy if things aren't happening that the bride wouldn't want to know about? I understand a guys' night out, but most of them are not cloaked in this kind of sneaky frat-boy vibe.

By the way, bc, I fully believe that each and every man on earth except possibly HLM and (most of) my friends' husbands is in fact a raging out-of-control cheater under the skin. Just can't summon up the faith to believe in them on more than a case-by-case basis. :b Even so, I think I can count about five good ones, so there's probably a sixth out there somewhere. And if I knew who he was, I'd give him your phone# in a heartbeat. {hug}

Re: Why the secrecy?

[hiddenbear.livejournal.com]

Let's take a hypothetical:
Joe goes to 10 bachelor parties. 9 are pretty tame, and 1 is crazy with strippers and prostitutes. After each of the 9, Joe chats about what happened (since nothing much did) with whomever. However, the last one Joe is tight lipped about, for obvious reasons. Anyone who had heard Joe talk about the other 9 would know something bad went on at the one.

So instead of running into that, I don't talk about any of them and then it is impossible to know which were bad and which were good.

Now, both my brothers have openly talked about their bachelor parties (which were both weekend retreats to a cabin in some small town where we drank, played cards, and hung out), so I feel free to talk about those. And a few other friends have had open bachelor parties (i.e. the bride and anyone else who cared could know exactly what happened). So those, I will sometimes talk about. But if there is any doubt, then it isn't my secret to share ... so I don't ... regardless of whether they were tame, had strippers, or whatever.

For the record:
I have been to awesome bachelor parties where there wasn't a single woman the entire time.
I have been to awesome bachelor parties at public events with thousands of people around.
I have been to awesome bachelor parties where we have gone to strip clubs. In all cases of these, the bride knew the guy was going to go to strip clubs.
I have never been to a bachelor party anything like the one described in that story, nor have I been to one where the bachelor did anything worse than look at strippers on a stage ... this is not to say that those don't occur, cause obviously they do. I'd hope that I would have the moral fortitude to remove myself from one of those, cause I don't agree with them at all ... but I am weak so I'm not sure I would.