Hating the mind-body connection

[flexagon]

Awesome. Nothing like rounding out a week at work by staying up coding until 11:30 on a Friday.

One other thing about this last week is that I only worked out twice (and one of those was just cardio on the elliptical at home). Monday I rested on purpose (except for some chin-ups with rifmeister), Wednesday was supposed to be a human tower rehearsal but it got rained out, and Friday a work-emergency arose. Tuesday, which was my birthday, was the only day I was happy about: my back has been hurt but slowly getting better, and on Tuesday I was able to do a couple of walkovers for the first time in ~4 weeks.

Extra rest over the last few weeks has been appropriate enough in terms of letting my back get better, which it is doing.

Well, I KNOW there's a correlation between workouts and sanity, and I've known that for at least 13 years now, so maybe it's obvious that I was doomed to go crazy this month and this last week. That's fine as far as it goes... I know that a lot of my high-level thoughts and moods are largely rationalized to make sense of what my brain chemicals and cells are telling me about my current state. Even so, why am I so close to the edge? I'd like to be in a solid enough emotional state that if I, say, broke my foot and couldn't do much for a while, I wouldn't necessarily wind up throwing things through the windows, hearing voices or quitting my job. It strikes me that even though I work with my brain and fingers, at the moment I'm almost as affected by injury as a dancer or acrobat would be. (At least, a good fraction of that.)

Vulnerability! We hates it.

(Postscript: this morning I walked to the Goodwill with some stuff I felt sentimental about and other stuff I didn't -- goodbye, uncleanable waffle maker, next time I'm getting one with removable plates! goodbye, small vases from my wedding! -- and then I went to advanced yoga for 90 delicious minutes, and now I'm going to do pullups. Guess what? I feel just fine.)

Comments

[kaigex.livejournal.com]

I was coding until about 8. The office is erie when empty. Even erier when you *think* the office is empty and then hear the laughter of little children (who it turned out, thankfully, were really there with parent).

Got my CL out...not that it'll really matter. Most likely it'll get punted anyways, but I'm still happy since I got it working.

[flexagon]

I'm crossing my fingers that they'll let it go through. Especially since I do believe I saw you kicking out a companion CL yesterday. Usually once something's in review, it's perceived as kinda done even if there's still enough work remaining that it's not comfortable to take on something else.