flexagon | The big long wedding post

The wedding from the one perspective that could possibly matter--MINE.
I woke up nice and early on Saturday so I'd have plenty of time to run to CVS and pace back and forth before B&D arrived to take us to the hotel. We checked in, then went over to the chapel and ran the rehearsal at 11:00, reciting poetry instead of our vows just to make sure we could speak in the space. (It echoes. We could.) I got to meet the organist and oversee the distribution of necklaces among the bridesmaids--all good. After that I felt pretty relaxed about the ceremony and was able to eat a small lunch. Then back to the hotel for sound system setup (HLM) and hair curling at the hands of B (me). And, oh yes, receiving the flowers that were SUPPOSED to be sent to the chapel--good thing HLM was going that way anyway, and at least that meant I had my bouquet. Well, curling took a bit longer than we'd hoped, and I ended up slamming on my makeup like a crazed weasel while B ironed the train of my dress. Then I leaped into the dress, stuffed the veil onto my head, submitted to one more blast of hairspray and bobby pins from B, snatched up my bouquet and scurried out at about T minus 10 minutes. Having not looked in the mirror again, I was stunned when the reflective elevator doors showed me... well... a lovely bride-type girl. Wow, I said, I don't look like a crazed weasel at all.

So, I got to the chapel and sent B in to get HLM out of the way, then scurried to the basement to hide. On the way, friends accosted me to tell me my dad was there and sitting in the front and chatting with my mother, and I shouldn't worry. Wow, I said, okay. And there, in the basement, were the bridesmaids and babysitter and photographer (and the flowers that were supposed to have gone to the reception). Hello everyone! We got my dress untwisted, and a little loop on the train broke but someone was on it with a safety pin before I even registered where the pin came from. Then I gave the go-ahead and the ceremony was upon us.

This is something I learned last week: why the bride walks down the aisle, especially the one who walks alone. I'll tell you: because it's a little creepy--and very emotional--there in the back when everyone turns to look at you. Then you look to the front where the light is, and your beloved bug, the one who's helped you through the whole day and a bunch of the ones before it, is up there, and you know if you can get up there he'll hold your hands, and you look straight forward and stay balanced, and that's how you do the aisle walk. Of course, that's also how you get past the front row of seats without realizing it and have to turn around to give your mother her white rose, but... I did it slowly and with a smile on my face, and I've been told it was a decent save. Then finally up to the light and the nice hand-holding bug who smiled at me.

The ceremony itself went perfectly--we nailed our vows despite my blanking out on each line before saying it, and both of us being shaky, and HLM's cello solo ("the musical part of the vows", which he wrote for me) went better than perfect. He says he was really calm and kind of blanked out, but he made a lot of people cry. Not me. I just stood against the pulpit-thing and gazed adoringly. Then we did the funny part and the audience-says-they-support-our-union-part (WE DO, they said! they were loud!) and then we went down the aisle and gave the MIL her white rose, as planned, and then out in the hall and HLM said yessss! we nailed it.

We took some pictures, including one of all the MIT people for Tech Review, and headed to the hotel for the reception (guests) and more pictures in the hotel's rooftop garden (us and the wedding party).

And now we know the secrets
Naturally, our married friends took us aside during the reception and taught us the secret handshake of the Married People's Club, along with a few of the more basic hand signs, and, most importantly, the one thing all married people know. Very cool. I can't tell you, but rest assured, there IS a conspiracy and the secret is a good one. ;)

The other thing about the reception is that I basically missed it. I'm told the food was good, but I didn't get any (except 1.5 fruit tarts after I complained and someone went to the kitchens). I didn't hear the string quartet playing (they left when I got down after taking pictures in the rooftop garden), and I was only under my own physical control half the time since people kept putting me places and taking pictures. I didn't even get any champagne--it was getting passed out but I never saw the people doing it. I was soooo confused! But the toasts were sweet, and people loved my tango dress when it came time for me to change (I felt a slight pang: is it really time to take the white one off already?), and the tango itself went decently well. People clapped and clapped.

We had a relaxed dinner at Legal Seafoods with VN, a bridesmaid we hadn't had much chance to talk to yet (and thrillingly, nobody else tried to get in on that dinner), and repaired to the hotel room, where there were the yummiest chocolate-dipped strawberries waiting for us. It was a good wedding night.

The honeymoon
Actually, we didn't rush right off to the honeymoon. We went home, and I went weightlifting with Sarah, and came home and packed and THEN got on the train. Mostly we just sat there, zonked, and didn't even read our books... and there were these loud kids that I didn't even mind because I knew that I had been loud at that age, and I knew that they would grow up and get married and the next day some kids would be having fun right next to them. Plus I was just too mellow. I hadn't slept too well and I couldn't spin down from all the excitement, but I wasn't very animate anymore either.

Well, a day in Newburyport helped with everything. There was nothing to do there but browse cool stores and galleries, walk slowly along the waterfront, and try out new sex toys and bubble bath in the room at the B&B. And buy new panties since I had forgotten that little detail in my packing. It spun me down. On Monday night I finally slept for 10 hours straight, and that was sooo yummy. Then you pretty much know the rest: home on Tuesday, ka-pwing!, business trip misery (the hurricane was not so bad, and I remembered panties, but I forgot to pack my toothbrush), and here I am home again. I am such a Boston junkie. What a fabulous city it is.

So, do you feel any different?
People have been asking me this since the reception. I laughed and said no every time... however, it has been brought to my attention that I was lying like a rug. Or rather, I wasn't, but I hadn't yet received an email signed "Your loving husband, HLM" that made me shiver and shiver. He missed me a lot. I've never been so far away from my wife before, he said. So, I read that and I thought about things and now I would have to say I do feel different. It's subtle. It's a bit like falling in love all over again. And of course I love seeing the ring on his finger--it makes him look so real somehow. My husband... goddamn I am not used to that word. My husband. I'm his wife. I'm confused! :)

And for my next trick...
I will be getting back to some sort of normal-for-me life. The wedding isn't really over until the gifts are unpacked, the old stuff they replace is given away, the gift certificates are spent, the thank-you notes are all written and the pictures are posted. There's still plenty to do, and there's still that huge demo coming up at work on Sept 30. But at some point I'll be going back to tae kwon do, and trying to start that magazine (I haven't forgotten!), and... oh, all kinds of other stuff I've written down that I want to do. Stay tuned. It's gonna be a good year. :)