KimKierkegaard nails it

[flexagon]

Our sufferings are so various, and of such long duration, but I wanted to give you guys a quick breakdown. Full details are on the web site.

And also:

I'm soooo excited to see you this weekend even though everything which occupies you interests me only slightly.

I've felt kind of sad for a couple of days now. I'm 100% sure it doesn't matter how much you accomplish, there will be days when you feel like a total fuckup whose achievements are meaningless and whose potential is laughable. Naturally these are NOT the days where you think "oh, well, everyone likes me anyway" or "at least I am smoking hot". No, they are the same days that you feel old and unlikeable, and you figure that people not answering your emails probably means they are Annoyed With You Forever. Also, all your plans for the future are bad.

This weekend brings the third of three acro workshops in a row, this one with visiting Dutch acrobat Niko. It should be less intense than either of the last two weekends, and is in Boston, but the prospect has been enough to keep me in self-preservation mode this week -- mostly light workouts and lots of recovery stuff. Being in one piece so that I can learn is the important thing. My brain in the meantime is still explodey with all the material we learned over the last two weekends, which I haven't had much time to practice. I know Scooper feels the same... one more influx and then the whole brat pack (are we a brat pack?) will have a chance to internalize things.

Pop bottles like you just won a championship game! Your despair will go virtually unnoticed in the world.

Comments

[islenskr.livejournal.com]

Wow. I feel exactly the same, and perhaps slightly more intensely bad. I wonder why? Do you know what triggered it for you?

[flexagon]

Interesting... and no, not really. I am attributing it partly to getting back into work after a rather long absence, and partly to treading unfamiliar emotional territory, and partly to light workouts.... but ultimately these things seem to come and go with their own rhythms, which will never be explained. If you find that yours tend to be explainable, then you're three steps ahead of me at least. :-)

I'm doing what I always do: trying to go through my to-do list anyway and taking care of myself anyway, so that when the clouds lift I won't have a backlog of crap to deal with. I'm hoping that acro today might help.

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

Yeah.... That feeling sucks, and I can totally relate. I feel like my work is getting in the way of what I need to work on.

[flexagon]

I really think it happens to everyone. :-(

Interesting on the work getting in the way of what you need to work on... is it just because of the time and energy it takes, or some more direct conflict?