Calvin, pants, trolls and idiots
Dec. 4th, 2003 10:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexagonFor those who don't read the comments on the Calvin & Hobbes strips, here is a really interesting article about Bill Watterson.
And EMS sells something they call Toaster Pants... rrrrrrr. Nice marketing job there, guys, I want 'em for the name alone. :)
I found out yesterday that there is indeed a![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
childfree community here on LJ. The people there seem nice, overall, but as with many 'negative' communities it largely serves as a venting space (which means don't read if you don't want to hear people talking about breeders, sprogs, Moos and so forth in the same tones you may occasionally take when discussing, say, gay-haters or the devoutly religious or whatever group you find incomprehensible). Plus there are a few real troll-types. I joined, and think I will post there about my fears of losing friendships with those who choose children, but probably won't hang out there much. Oddly, if I did want to post a vent there today I would sure have something to say. I was reading an article on autism in the New Yorker, and read about this family who already had 2 autistic children out of 3, could not handle the finances or emotional strain, were already putting incredible drains on the system plus were miserable/overwhelmed themselves, and what did they do? They had another fucking baby! Talk about the height of irresponsible breeding... and sure enough, that baby's now been diagnosed with PDD NOS, a disease on the autism spectrum that is severe but stops short of full autism. Gahhhh. You just don't read about idiocy that monumental every night before bedtime. :-/
And EMS sells something they call Toaster Pants... rrrrrrr. Nice marketing job there, guys, I want 'em for the name alone. :)
I found out yesterday that there is indeed a
childfree community here on LJ. The people there seem nice, overall, but as with many 'negative' communities it largely serves as a venting space (which means don't read if you don't want to hear people talking about breeders, sprogs, Moos and so forth in the same tones you may occasionally take when discussing, say, gay-haters or the devoutly religious or whatever group you find incomprehensible). Plus there are a few real troll-types. I joined, and think I will post there about my fears of losing friendships with those who choose children, but probably won't hang out there much. Oddly, if I did want to post a vent there today I would sure have something to say. I was reading an article on autism in the New Yorker, and read about this family who already had 2 autistic children out of 3, could not handle the finances or emotional strain, were already putting incredible drains on the system plus were miserable/overwhelmed themselves, and what did they do? They had another fucking baby! Talk about the height of irresponsible breeding... and sure enough, that baby's now been diagnosed with PDD NOS, a disease on the autism spectrum that is severe but stops short of full autism. Gahhhh. You just don't read about idiocy that monumental every night before bedtime. :-/
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 12:01 pm (UTC)I have had two friends who have had children. First was Nina who wanted kids so bad that her first baby came at 19. The baby was all she talked about, in reality that was her life . She was also telling me a 19 year old that I should have children. She always told me I would make a great mother. I should have them early so I could enjoy them. I should get married and settle down. My personal goal was to get an education, and children really make that hard. Our relationship fell apart because she only chose to hang out with other people to had children. It also fell apart becuase she was alway on me about my choose not to have children. I think personal to justify her choose of having children so early.
My other friend Mandy had a baby at 25 when I was 21 about two years ago, and I love my little god-son, Sam. We have a much better relationship because I understand her needs and she understands mine. I am as the other person said her childless buddy to hang out with when her hubby takes their son. I’m also the person willing to spent time with her and her son. I understand that her first priority is to her son. The basic thing is you have to understand and respect their need for children in their life as much as they understand and respect your need for no children. You have to on some leavel be able to deal with kids.
Mandy said the best thing to me when I stay up my Sam when he is sick. I looked at her and told her at some point I wanted one of my own. This is a total personal choose on my part and I don’t expect you or anyone else to follow it. She told me “I never expected that your time with Sam would make you in to a mother. I wanted you to be part of my life and Sam is a large part of my life.” Mandy was always very respectful of me not wanting children. I like Sam because we get to do cool kid thing like jump in puddles but he goes back to his mother when he is crying and Mandy and I still have a great relationship.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 02:06 pm (UTC)Hi there! Nope, your nose is not at all in the wrong place. Thanks for taking the effort to come tell your stories here--I'm not that surprised, I knew not everyone would be able to reply on childfree. And I appreciate reading your stories... since that's what I was asking for... just seeing what happened to other people in similar situations.
The basic thing is you have to understand and respect their need for children in their life as much as they understand and respect your need for no children. You have to on some leavel be able to deal with kids.
I think this is very true, and I'll be keeping it in mind.