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flexagonI don't know what to say today. Nothing has happened in my life unless you're interested in how I got fingerprinted yesterday at the Belmont police station for my security clearance. Or perhaps, if interested in the HLM/flexagon relationship, you would like to know that we did much cryptic crosswording and snuggling last night, and all was well. Boring, no? :)
And yet, I keep thinking... about all sorts of things. (I typed some stuff here and deleted it.)
Most of my problems are pretty far up Maslow's need heirarchy. I take this as an indication that while my "needs" are still what I'm going to spend my efforts on, if I complain about them too much I am w-h-i-n-i-n-g. Oddly enough, though, if I can say it without whining, this self-actualization and flourishing type stuff is difficult for me. I was good at putting down my head and enduring things when I was miserable in my childhood. Good at waiting. But, recognizing and relaxing into a happy situation that may exist now? Being content, being unafraid? Someone tell me when I ever saw those skills in practice. I'm afraid I'm self-taught, inept and still learning. *bows head* I want to learn.
By the way, I found this interesting community yesterday:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
poor_skills. At first I thought my personal finance advice could come in handy over there, but nope... everything I know is based on the idea of a fairly constant income, which most of those people don't have. One more instance of the universe kicking me in the head and reminding me to get some perspective.
This is the fog I walk in. I'm not unhappy. I have food, shelter, as much safety as can be expected and a social network--I even have mint chocolate chip brownies and HLM. I'm trying to wait for the view to appear, but not in an "enduring" sort of way. I am... well... probably not making any sense, am I? Yeah, I knew this year was going to be a head trip.
And yet, I keep thinking... about all sorts of things. (I typed some stuff here and deleted it.)
Most of my problems are pretty far up Maslow's need heirarchy. I take this as an indication that while my "needs" are still what I'm going to spend my efforts on, if I complain about them too much I am w-h-i-n-i-n-g. Oddly enough, though, if I can say it without whining, this self-actualization and flourishing type stuff is difficult for me. I was good at putting down my head and enduring things when I was miserable in my childhood. Good at waiting. But, recognizing and relaxing into a happy situation that may exist now? Being content, being unafraid? Someone tell me when I ever saw those skills in practice. I'm afraid I'm self-taught, inept and still learning. *bows head* I want to learn.
By the way, I found this interesting community yesterday:
poor_skills. At first I thought my personal finance advice could come in handy over there, but nope... everything I know is based on the idea of a fairly constant income, which most of those people don't have. One more instance of the universe kicking me in the head and reminding me to get some perspective.This is the fog I walk in. I'm not unhappy. I have food, shelter, as much safety as can be expected and a social network--I even have mint chocolate chip brownies and HLM. I'm trying to wait for the view to appear, but not in an "enduring" sort of way. I am... well... probably not making any sense, am I? Yeah, I knew this year was going to be a head trip.
