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[personal profile] flexagon
Today I have a cold, and I cancelled everything in favor of impersonating a slug in my living room. Vaguely sad, given that I had just caught up on sleep and was back into the swing of my workouts, but here we are. I'll likely stay home from work tomorrow too.

Project that has ended: watching The Good Place. That finale tore me up a little inside... or should I say it flattened the penis of my soul? Everything ends.

I also spent a long time yesterday and today on categorizing all my 2018 and 2019 expenses, trying to figure out why '19 had so many more of them. In the end I found it: it came down to private circus lessons (hidden as cash withdrawals, but I know why I go to the ATM), the zero-G flight and a full set of new electronics (new phone, new laptop). Obviously that new stuff isn't necessary every year. One thing I hadn't expected, but should have, was the nostalgia: all the restaurants I went to with Lion were there, and a foot spa that I went to with Lioness, when everyone was friendly. That hurt a bit. And clothing: I spent embarrassingly more on clothes (both years) than I would have guessed. I do feel well kitted out now, and maybe 2020 can be smaller in terms of stuff and restaurants -- but I'm still planning to learn all the circus, while my body and budget can handle it.

To be honest, I'm afraid of what this year is going to bring and I'm not reacting to it very well. But I need to give myself a pass. I have a cold, the right thing to think about is what this evening will bring.

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