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flexagonLike many circus students, my sense of what's typical/standard in terms of fitness and body type is skewed by my surroundings -- and this is perhaps made even more so since I started taking more private lessons in the daytime, although I still see my fellow students around too. I am, in short, surrounded by professional circus teachers, all of whom are strong and capable. If I log on to Instagram, I see yoga teachers and mobility bros and handstand teachers doing highlight-reel stuff, and these are all beautiful and strong and capable.
Sometimes this can indeed make me feel a little bit sub-par, not in a self-hating way but just matter-of-factly. Then I go out on the street and remember what "average" is, or someone compliments me at the gym, and I'm like: oh yeah. I'm actually super athletic and not-a-beginner.
But you know what's funny? I like living in my curated world where many beautiful people can do these difficult, gravity-defying things, and where I get to watch them. I like how many of them are sharing, whether it's the beautiful things themselves or the drills that helped them get the skills. It makes me feel like people are awesome, and keeps me inspired.
Does it help that I am looking at things I could theoretically learn, rather than at things one basically has to be born with? Or is this just being in my 40s, not my teens? I know that Instagram and the like can make people feel truly awful, and that there are real dangers to the comparison game.
(I had a nice handstand lesson this morning, in which Spring and I worked on my jumps. My jumps, truly, lag behind the rest of my skills, but we were able to slow them down and regress, and work with my new understanding of the rib cage. And they started to feel better! We also did a lot of very detailed ab work, inverted on the shoulderstand device, which has generally not felt helpful but which did feel helpful today. I have hope. All of that predated the thoughts above, which came about when I was practicing acro with my partner and we talked about Instagram.)
Sometimes this can indeed make me feel a little bit sub-par, not in a self-hating way but just matter-of-factly. Then I go out on the street and remember what "average" is, or someone compliments me at the gym, and I'm like: oh yeah. I'm actually super athletic and not-a-beginner.
But you know what's funny? I like living in my curated world where many beautiful people can do these difficult, gravity-defying things, and where I get to watch them. I like how many of them are sharing, whether it's the beautiful things themselves or the drills that helped them get the skills. It makes me feel like people are awesome, and keeps me inspired.
Does it help that I am looking at things I could theoretically learn, rather than at things one basically has to be born with? Or is this just being in my 40s, not my teens? I know that Instagram and the like can make people feel truly awful, and that there are real dangers to the comparison game.
(I had a nice handstand lesson this morning, in which Spring and I worked on my jumps. My jumps, truly, lag behind the rest of my skills, but we were able to slow them down and regress, and work with my new understanding of the rib cage. And they started to feel better! We also did a lot of very detailed ab work, inverted on the shoulderstand device, which has generally not felt helpful but which did feel helpful today. I have hope. All of that predated the thoughts above, which came about when I was practicing acro with my partner and we talked about Instagram.)
