Comfort and discomfort

[flexagon]

I forgot to share with you my recent experience about the girl working at CVS who didn't know what a douche was and then, when telling me what aisle they were in and what product they were likely to be adjacent to, couldn't finish the word "tampons".


Scuse me, do you know where the douches are?
The what?
Douches.
Pardon?
Dooooouuu-shezzz.
Dishes?
No... douches. They're for, uh, cleaning your vagina.
Ohhhh. That would be in aisle 8, ma'am. Over by the... by the.. by the tam... *blush*


I did not share with her my reason for wanting such a thing, namely that my post-Essure bleeding has left me feeling very unsexy. It falls asymptotically toward zero but it NEVER FUCKING GETS THERE!!! Now we're down to some beige coloring in the usual discharge, which is not much of a problem. But on Friday, right about the time the lack of a recent mattress dance was making me feel bad in the usual ways, it was more like watery brown stuff punctuated by, well, more solid pieces of tissue... also brown, which at least means nothing freshly bleeding anymore, and that is good. But there is a word in English for small solid bits of old brown blood, and unfortunately that word is scabs. Yes. Lovely. I had scabs falling out of my cootch. So I wanted, I think quite rationally, to flush them out before inviting anyone else to tour the area. CVS-girl did not help me feel better about this errand, no, not at all... though she did check up on me later as I was standing in line with my 99 cent vinegar-and-water solution.


Did you find what you were looking for, ma'am?
Yes, I sure did. Right over BY THE TAMPONS, just like you said! Thanks! >:D


Grrraaaaaah. That girl is not going to last more than a couple of days working in a pharmacy, considering some of the other stuff they sell.


Thank heaven for naahmah99, who writes some of the funniest stuff ever on such topics and has done it again. Regarding wings on pads: "For Fuck's Sake! I am bleeding from my vagina, not HANG-GLIDING!" Well worth a read if you're female... well, assuming you're anyone except that CVS chick.

Comments

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

It is so incredibly sad that women can't even name their own parts, let alone anything they might use with/for them.

A word of caution: be careful with over the counter douches. They can really mess up your Ph, flora & fauna, etc. and that is NOT fun. You can make a natural douche with vinegar that is gentle and won't hurt you and still accomplishes the same thing. I believe the recipe is over at vaginapagina in the archives still.

Hope things get back to normal soon!

[artana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have been warned not to use them because they tend to throw off the balance and once the cycle starts, it is almost impossible to stop. You use medicines to cure one thing which leads to a lack of the other, etc (Yes, I am being vagueish so the poor males don't have to read too much.)

[webrat.livejournal.com]

Thank God!

[flexagon]

You clicked, didn't you? Yes. I can see it in your eyes.

[webrat.livejournal.com]

Well, yanno, overly curious and all. Life sucks a male sometimes, just wondering how bad it is on the the flip side.

we are so good at it though

[hiddenbear.livejournal.com]

'it' being clicking. And if you had put it in a cut that said 'clicking here will blind you', we would still click. 'boring stuff' - nope, still wouldn't have worked. 'webrat and hb, please do not look' - wellll, maybe.

seriously though, information is always good.

[flexagon]

Thank you... I did end up with something that was just vinegar and water (not sure of the proportions). Don't suppose the disposable plastic bottle did anything for my score as a good environmentalist, but I think my wildlife is okay. ;)

On the "not being able to name our parts" topic, yeah... that girl really surprised me.

[bluechromis.livejournal.com]

Well, at least you didn't send HLM to the store for it ;-) J was kind enough to get me tampons (TAMPONS TAMPONS TAMPONS!!!), nail polish remover, and cotton balls the other day. "This is going to make me look really gay." "Nah, the tampons save you from that. Whipped, maybe, but not gay. ;-)"

[jg26.livejournal.com]

at least I was covered in mud after a soccer game... So I had some redeeming masculinity!

not being helpful

[jg26.livejournal.com]

But there is a word in English for small solid bits of old brown blood, and unfortunately that word is scabs.
be creative... just think of a new word... if you don't like that one. I guess haciendas is already taken?

Re: not being helpful

[artana.livejournal.com]

On this issue...I'm wondering...

Grrr..Ok, shyness go away a moment. Well, its possible since the procedure causes scar tissue that the scabs are coming from elsewhere. And flushing won't help much?

I know, I'm a downer. Sorry...:(

Re: not being helpful

[flexagon]

Oh yeah, they were clearly coming from way up at the fallopian tubes. But flushing out the vaginal area temporarily is all you need to have non-icky sex, since the penis doesn't get any further up than that anyway... it'd be some pretty freaky sex if it did, now that I think of it.

Anyway, this all happened Friday, and it worked fine. :)

Re: not being helpful

[flexagon]

Yep. ;) But there are so many others... maharajas... enneads... hmmm.

Scabs.

[zgirl611.livejournal.com]

Hopefully you and your hubby have done the deed with minor to no stress to your pride and VAGINA! I have to confess though... i'm married to a man who won't name the parts either, unless we're having sex and it comes up in the conversation... so to speak. Grrrr. and me a writer of erotica!