Comfort and discomfort

[flexagon]

I forgot to share with you my recent experience about the girl working at CVS who didn't know what a douche was and then, when telling me what aisle they were in and what product they were likely to be adjacent to, couldn't finish the word "tampons".


Scuse me, do you know where the douches are?
The what?
Douches.
Pardon?
Dooooouuu-shezzz.
Dishes?
No... douches. They're for, uh, cleaning your vagina.
Ohhhh. That would be in aisle 8, ma'am. Over by the... by the.. by the tam... *blush*


I did not share with her my reason for wanting such a thing, namely that my post-Essure bleeding has left me feeling very unsexy. It falls asymptotically toward zero but it NEVER FUCKING GETS THERE!!! Now we're down to some beige coloring in the usual discharge, which is not much of a problem. But on Friday, right about the time the lack of a recent mattress dance was making me feel bad in the usual ways, it was more like watery brown stuff punctuated by, well, more solid pieces of tissue... also brown, which at least means nothing freshly bleeding anymore, and that is good. But there is a word in English for small solid bits of old brown blood, and unfortunately that word is scabs. Yes. Lovely. I had scabs falling out of my cootch. So I wanted, I think quite rationally, to flush them out before inviting anyone else to tour the area. CVS-girl did not help me feel better about this errand, no, not at all... though she did check up on me later as I was standing in line with my 99 cent vinegar-and-water solution.


Did you find what you were looking for, ma'am?
Yes, I sure did. Right over BY THE TAMPONS, just like you said! Thanks! >:D


Grrraaaaaah. That girl is not going to last more than a couple of days working in a pharmacy, considering some of the other stuff they sell.


Thank heaven for naahmah99, who writes some of the funniest stuff ever on such topics and has done it again. Regarding wings on pads: "For Fuck's Sake! I am bleeding from my vagina, not HANG-GLIDING!" Well worth a read if you're female... well, assuming you're anyone except that CVS chick.

Comments

[artana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have been warned not to use them because they tend to throw off the balance and once the cycle starts, it is almost impossible to stop. You use medicines to cure one thing which leads to a lack of the other, etc (Yes, I am being vagueish so the poor males don't have to read too much.)

[webrat.livejournal.com]

Thank God!

[flexagon]

You clicked, didn't you? Yes. I can see it in your eyes.

[webrat.livejournal.com]

Well, yanno, overly curious and all. Life sucks a male sometimes, just wondering how bad it is on the the flip side.

we are so good at it though

[hiddenbear.livejournal.com]

'it' being clicking. And if you had put it in a cut that said 'clicking here will blind you', we would still click. 'boring stuff' - nope, still wouldn't have worked. 'webrat and hb, please do not look' - wellll, maybe.

seriously though, information is always good.