Transfiguration.

flexagon: I want to tell you what I did in yoga tonight, but it might sound dirty.
heisenbug: You should only tell me what you did in yoga if it sounds dirty.
flexagon: I flipped my dog tonight! On both sides!
heisenbug: Wow. Um.
flexagon: I did. It was great.
heisenbug: ...did the dog like it?
flexagon: No, probably not... it got changed into something else.
heisenbug: Whoa. Transfiguration.

Flipping the dog means starting in downward dog and turning it inside out to become a backbend. I've never quite been able to do it before because I've been too afraid of twisting one of my wrists... but it turns out to mostly be okay as long as I take most of the stretch into my back instead. Very cool, definitely one of the moves that only a couple of people in each given class can usually do.

I also successfully did tripod headstand to revolved koundinyasana for the first time. Well, success on the left side, partial success on the right side. I'm pretty sure I know what to work on to make it better.

Pep talk

I'm trying to imagine what I'd say to a young woman who came to me with my own current concerns about my job.

Fictional person: This fucking sucks! I'm working in a language I don't like, which nobody else around here is really an expert in either, and I'm working my ass off on software that probably won't ship to anyone, in sort of a guinea pig role, with no guidance, and more or less alone.

Me: So you're asking who moved your cheese? Get out there and find another job.

Fictional person: For fiscal reasons I've chosen to stay at least through August. It's not negotiable unless I get really really miserable.

Me: So, what I'm hearing is that you need to find or create some positives in the situation you're in.

FP: I knowwwwww, it's just so hard to feel motivated. *snivel*

Me: Enthusiasm must come from within, lazy thing. Seriously, what are the things you could do in this project that would make you feel useful?

FP: I could try harder to document things, and put together a talk that would help other people get through this crap more easily. I'm the first person going here, but probably not the last.

Me: Uh huh, and?

FP: I can focus on learning C++ better... that's the one thing I have sort of been doing right. And I can try to help nail down some decent interfaces so that future work of this type can go better. God help me with trying to make a real schedule for the upcoming project though. I don't think it's possible, much less by me. So I'm going to mess it up and keep looking bad in front of my boss until this stupid thing is over.

Me: But if you blow that part, while putting together a good interface and great documentation, and giving a talk on the topic that answers a bunch of people's questions and that you've actually done enough research to give confidently... would you have succeeded, in your own eyes?

FP: All that? Yes, that's more than I'm even asking of myself at the moment.

Me: Recharge in California for a few days. Then come back and ask for that.

FP: I hate you sometimes, you smug, annoying person.

That meme, you know that meme. First sentence from every month in 2006.

To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson: Let us be poised, and wise, and our own, this year. I'm just about equally fascinated by the Getting Things Done (GTD) system and the marvellously freeing idea of goal-free living. Has anyone else noticed that the Gap's latest ad campaign is straight out of 1984? I went to my gynecologist Friday for my annual checkup -- something I actually love doing (despite the pap smear) because I love my usual nurse practitioner so much.

Today I overslept by 80 minutes, cut myself by accident, burned myself on purpose, figured out why my program at work was core dumping, entertained lascivious fantasies, fended off raindrops, chased Nala through the house, ate chicken pot pie, folded socks, played Bejeweled on the bus, finished reading Air by Geoff Ryman, bit heisenbug for ignoring me all evening, took a Prozac, stretched my hamstrings, bought a yoga bag, typed these words.

I had a dream last night that somehow 6 PM had rolled around, today, and I hadn't done anything except make myself breakfast. Today I walked about 5 miles with bluechromis and talked about life. Thank you, powers that be.

This is what I idealize most, right now. Well, only the very few who can see my last post will understand this, but I got so pissed off that I just straddled up from the floor into handstand, for the first (two) time(s) ever! I've had three drinks in the last 7 days. Ahhhhhh, basics [yoga] class on Thursday.