Back to life, back to reality

[flexagon]

Work... spitspit. On Friday, big presentation over, I sent a long email to my boss's boss telling him the reasons I don't believe my project is a good project for the company to pursue. This is just the kind of thing that would probably have gotten me in trouble at DSB; here, I think at least he'll understand that, right or wrong, I felt I had to give strong feedback in order to be a responsible citizen. Maybe I'll get in trouble, but at this point? We just decided to throw away most of the code I wrote in the last 3 months (and I'm glad because the project really should be abandoned), Dan the Cat is actively trying to leave (and I'm actively helping him because I'm so tired of seeing him be miserable), and, basically, fuck it, my work-heart is breaking anyway. Nothing that happens with my boss's boss will make me feel worse. I did have a good chat with a Google recruiter on Thursday; I have friends and supporters and there's a big game out there to play, but it's always hard to see something end. This job was good; I had several patient mentors and a good engine to play with, real production code that I got to watch improving and growing for almost three years.

My hamstring is another story. In short, it feels better. I can trot for the bus again without pain! Best of all, I got permission to go back to yoga... and did two basic classes and one intermediate one in the next three giddy days. I forgot how good ujayi breathing can feel as it stretches out all the internal ribcage muscles (I was especially delighted to feel it stretching that sternum place that I loosened up in gymnastics). I forgot how yoga forces me to not collapse my arches and rotate my knees in, something the NASM book calls "lower extremity postural distortion" and I call "feeling my anklebones grind together if I stand with the inner part of my feet touching". I had started to fall back into that. I don't have my ardha chandrasana muscle anymore, and haven't had the nerve to try jumping through my hands yet, but I haven't lost much either. I'm pretty delighted. I also forgot just what a jerk I can feel like in a beginner class, but it felt dangerous to dive right into the advanced ones, so my apologies to any beginners I may have annoyed on Wednesday or Thursday and may yet annoy on Monday.

Comments

[nevers.livejournal.com]

what kind of a jerk are you in a beginner class?

[flexagon]

well, it's just possible to FEEL like a jerk when, say, I'm the only one not collapsing to the floor in my chaturanga (which for some reason the teacher is having us hold for like 30 seconds) and then she's literally like "okay, we have one person back here FLYING in the pose and everyone else is down, let's move on." -- doh, I was not trying to call attention to myself, lady.

I don't think I'm actually a jerk. :)

[nevers.livejournal.com]

gotcha. i find that situation awkward, too. (and at this point i get myself into those kinds of situations in any yoga class i take)

[flexagon]

I know there are some insanely advanced ashtanga things that would probably still challenge you (astavakrasana, press to handstand, astavakrasana on the other side! seriously, some folks can do that!)... but yeah... you'd stand out in all the advanced classes at 02.