What are you doing down there?

[flexagon]

Several voices are grunting, laughing, yelping and generally emoting from downstairs. Either there's a sports game on TV, or they're having an orgy down there. I don't want to know which... the truth is usually so boring. Anyway, here's a meme I found interesting because it's open-ended:

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it or reply in comments. Ask for anything.

Comments

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

I prefer making up adventures for people, too.

OK... here's your question: what do you *do* when you end up in meetings from hell? How do you deal?

[flexagon]

That depends on whether I know ahead of time that it will be a meeting from hell. If I do know, then (don't laugh!) I review the basic Dale Carnegie people hacks, and yes I mean I pull out the little "Golden Book" from DC class and re-read the first couple of lists. I pick a few to focus on.

I almost always walk in smiling, and try to start off with something that makes the other person say "yes, yes" immediately. It doesn't have to be on-topic, it will make the tone of the whole thing start to go better. I put the topic of conversation on the table in a friendly way, especially if it involves a mistake I made. From then on, it depends where the other person takes it.

If I go in with the intent of staying calm no matter what, I almost always can... and if they get all angry and blustery the only thing to do is not respond to those tones, and respond, softly and evenly, only to the words. This is really hard but it tends to take the wind out of people's sails. (Sweating is okay, internally vowing to never respect them again is also okay).

If I don't know that a meeting, initially okay, is going to become a meeting from hell, it's a coin toss whether I manage to get into Dale Carnegie mode or if, in my surprise, I'll get all defensive. :-/ I'm told that it's okay to call a 5-minute break and just walk out of the room for a couple of minutes in those situations, but I never do.

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

Actually the DC thing sounds like the best possible application of How to Win Friends, Influence People, and Generally Kick Ass and Take People's Lunch Money....and probably better than my strategy of wearing pink if you know that you're going into a meeting of the damned. I don't know what it is, but it seems to help. I've got some of my coworkers on that one as well. Pearls also help.... they have apotropaic qualities.