The pretty, the nerdy and the ugly

[flexagon]

I'm definitely doing my best to weird people out today--this is a pretty casual office, and today I'm wearing a black tango dress with a ragged handkerchief edge that flutters all over the place, and heels, and yes, pearls. It's fun to see who asks me what's going on and who just gives me an odd look. What's up, of course, is that tonight is the last tango class and I thought it'd be fun to dress up for it.

Also good: Coraline is finally out in paperback as of today, and it's on its way to me. Here's hoping it arrives before I leave for NJ next Wednesday. I really wanted to buy The Phoenix Exultant for the trip since it would have been a long enough read for sure and I just read its prequel, but noooooooo, it's not coming out in paperback until September. *snivel* *life is no fair*

Work is still evil... here's hoping I can take this weekend off, or (since I'm supposed to be loading all our stuff onto a laptop) at the very least maybe I can work from home instead of schlepping my tired self in here.

Regarding a couple of days ago: what, no replies to my bachelor(/-ette) party rant? I definitely thought we had some pro-bachelor-party types online. I was curious what they would say as they sprang to the parties' defense.

Comments

Oh no, soyfetus...

[hiddenbear.livejournal.com]

I've never been to one like that ... I've heard of one and was revolted. That man had a confused view of the world, of his fiancee, and of marriage. HLM doesn't have those problems and you know it. You know you trust him ... but if you need to confront him beforehand about the real realities of bachelor parties, then don't hesitate.
old friends grow up. and if they haven't, HLM has.

Re: Oh no, soyfetus...

[flexagon]

So the ever-so-loyal-to-men hiddenbear doesn't have such scary things to say after all! {hug} I'm glad you haven't been to anything like that. It increases my belief/hope that it is not that common. Statistics... I want... statistics...

Anyway, yeah... I know HLM has grown up. Every time I bother to picture him in some actual place with his friends and an actual stripper or whatever, I see him being mostly his reserved and somewhat embarrassed self. And he knows I'm nervous, and he might ask for something totally innocent anyway. It's just scary, and it's taken me forever to get over a constant fear of being cheated on anyway, and this is sooooooo the stereotypical venue for this kind of thing to happen... you know? It all tempts me to revert to my old strategy of being as paranoid as possible so I can't be blindsided. :)

Probably this will follow the usual pattern of scary things being less scary when he is involved. Probably. I just, ick. I wish I were more sure of all this. I wish I trusted his friends more (as I might if I knew them better). I don't like the "final fling before being tied down" idea... that should be done before getting together with me. Otherwise, what's the point? Aren't people getting married because, you know, they want to be married? And I dunno what's with the idea of this being one's last chance to go out with friends of the same gender, or something, anyway. Ick ick ick. You are listening to one revolted soyfetus. :b

Hmm..

[hiddenbear.livejournal.com]

IMHO...
what's with the idea of this being one's last chance to go out with friends of the same gender
We all know it's not. We all know that marriage isn't the end of life ... that's all just guys talking for the sake of talking.

statistics
In our circles, I would say that crazy (where crazy is defined as anything more than watching strippers at a strip club) bachelor parties for people older than 23 are rare ... perhaps 1 in a 100.
Younger than 23, I won't guess at. And out of our circles, I have no idea. I'd define our circle as generally as well educated NorthEasterners, though that might be too wide.

Aren't people getting married because, you know, they want to be married?
I'd hope so ... but perhaps my marriage beliefs and ability to commit mean that I am not qualified to talk for those who want a crazy bachelor party.

Ick ick ick
HLM isn't icky, so I'm confident laying down money that his bachelor party won't be icky ... lay down guidelines for both your party and his, make sure to communicate them to the wedding party such that everyone knows these are the same rules for both sides and they will be abided by ... after that, you'll just have to trust HLM.