Kind of up in the air

[flexagon]

 ...on a Virgin America flight, using the wifi and slowly putting together what might be a promotion packet and might just be an updated set of quarterly accomplishments & internal Zillian resume. Because I can't really decide whether to go up for promo, after all. So I'm spending this plane flight slowly going over my old achievements, catching up on the recording thereof. (Really I'm just aggregating. I already have them written up on a daily and weekly basis.)

I need Galahad to understand me better. I forced him into doing so yesterday. I sent him a pop quiz and the single question was "Why does flexagon want to go for promotion?" I told him it was worth 500 points. He played along and I have his answer a score of 300... not bad, but not so deep with the understanding either. He is afraid this specific bid for this specific level at this specific time means a lot to me, that I might take it hard if the committee (which will be made of strangers, somewhere else in the world) says no.

Actually I just want to stop torturing myself about having a "growth expectation trajectory". 

Comments

[apfelsingail.livejournal.com]

*hugs* That was a really good question to ask him, actually. What did he think of his score? And did he realize that actually getting this promotion might in some ways be the worst case scenario?

[flexagon]

Thanks. I have my moments. :) He accepted his score without argument. When I got done saying ..."and what flexagon seeks is sustainability", he said "This seems like something important that Galahad should understand about flexagon. So that was good.

Then we had a brief one-on-one this week in which we decided I should go for promo, and I worked on my packet until midnight last night. No emotional trouble at all... it's so strange, it seems like I have to freak out and cry during the early stages of the process, but then it's like a critical step I'm all done with and don't need to do twice.