Kind of up in the air

[flexagon]

 ...on a Virgin America flight, using the wifi and slowly putting together what might be a promotion packet and might just be an updated set of quarterly accomplishments & internal Zillian resume. Because I can't really decide whether to go up for promo, after all. So I'm spending this plane flight slowly going over my old achievements, catching up on the recording thereof. (Really I'm just aggregating. I already have them written up on a daily and weekly basis.)

I need Galahad to understand me better. I forced him into doing so yesterday. I sent him a pop quiz and the single question was "Why does flexagon want to go for promotion?" I told him it was worth 500 points. He played along and I have his answer a score of 300... not bad, but not so deep with the understanding either. He is afraid this specific bid for this specific level at this specific time means a lot to me, that I might take it hard if the committee (which will be made of strangers, somewhere else in the world) says no.

Actually I just want to stop torturing myself about having a "growth expectation trajectory". 

Comments

[flexagon]

Interesting! I'll be honest, I had not caught a whiff of gender-smell about this one. Galahad has pretty legitimately seen me be upset about official performance feedback before, and so I think it was reasonable to raise the issue of "what if I get really upset". However, I've been aware all along of self-nomination rates of males vs females, and not wanting to be one of those people who buckles when a guy would have more likely been more aggressive about self-nominating.

[elbren]

A logical response to "what if I get really upset" would be to know in advance when the answer would come and schedule in a good three whole days of comfort/cope. If you get rejected, you can take care of yourself before getting back into work; if you get promoted, you get some time to celebrate and figure out how the heck you're going to execute the new position.