I find my lack of faith disturbing.

[flexagon]

I feel mildly delirious. The weekend ultimately consisted of three long acro days. Frankly, I was getting pissy by the end of the third one, because there were LOTS of interested newbies / enthusiastic beginners, and I was very tired of teaching barrel roll and stacks. Sometimes I just want the core group, damn it. But I must be getting enough, because I'm growing and learning things rather quickly right now.

Something new happened in h2h with Scooper tonight, a long zipping-up on each side of my body from my toes clear through all my abs to my shoulders and connected through to my arms. I'm positive it was the right thing to feel.

I need a rest day and I'm not going to get one until Monday, but at least I can skip morning workouts.

I realize that in my mind I'm still operating from a place of scarcity. It was only last year when I couldn't find bases to work with me who were big enough, good enough, interested enough, and not in a weirdly exclusive acro-relationship with a possessive flyer. In this phenomenal summer there are at least three or four. But some of it is known to be limited, in that Scooper is going to move away soon, and he's my very best learning partner (sob!). I want desperately to believe that I can keep learning like this for the rest of my life, that this year is the start of something rather than a special gift.* But, deep down, I don't have that faith.

* There's even some supporting evidence: the fairly new existence of Nearby Circus School, the fact that Niko Douwes is coming here instead of NYC in October, the Ant. Please universe... I'm not alone in wanting to get Boston on the map, so let me believe, just enough to relax a little.

Comments

[nevers.livejournal.com]

so happy for your awesome acro summer!!

[nevers.livejournal.com]

so happy for your awesome acro summer!! (and, i can relate to the fears)

[flexagon]

I knew you would be able to, and am glad you read this post. :-) It's AMAZING how small a town can seem, when you need someone with a very specific skill-set in order to do the thing you most love to do.

I'm trying to remind myself how well it worked last year to go off for 6 months and let Toledo whip me into shape -- that is, I found a good way to spend the time, and I came out stronger and ready to catch the upswing. Things are really way less precarious now. With Nearby Circus School in town (and I'm guessing lots more space in their building should they need to expand), the only practice really to be lost is advanced acroyoga. And that seems a little silly when, for the first time, there was an acro immersion here this year. Yeah, my brain should totally just STFU.

[islenskr.livejournal.com]

Nearby Circus School?
Really. Please, introduce me to some of your awesome friends so that I can network and find a job there. I'm happy to bribe buy you lunch and tea and/or chocolate, and take many pictures of you flying various tricks!

Also, I feel your pain on the lack of a good base. While I am fine basing nearly everyone at family circus (with dancing_crow before I broke myself), I love flying the very best and was always sad that I could fly a trick more than two or three times.

I am SO GLAD you've had such an awesome summer flying!! The pictures you posted are so much fun to look at!

I'm going to Nova Scotia this weekend and will be back about the 17th. If it's not too cold, and you guys will be out in the park the following weekend, I could easily drive up. :)

[flexagon]

Yes... Nearby Circus School, if you follow my link meaning, is a 15-minute walk from my house.

I would be happy to introduce you around (are you on LinkedIn?). But we're in such different fields that I don't know if networking through me will help much. I'd start just looking for jobs in Boston on all the main job boards, and also looking for headhunters; I have contact info for a ton of headhunters, but again, all in tech. :-/

I think it would be GREAT for you to be in Boston.

And I'm really touched that you're glad for my awesome acro summer, when you could just as easily be royally annoyed. I'll try to post more pictures for you; most of them go to Facebook lately. It is ever so lovely to be picked up over the head of someone enormous and be held on one arm... my latest favorite is to be in a backbend with that one hand under my lower back. Floating there, trusting, I can almost entirely relax for a few seconds. A good feeling.

Have fun in Nova Scotia, and I am writing your visit into my calendar! Sunday funday, September 23, yes? :-) You can park behind my place for free, and we can go over to the park together and it will be AWESOME.

[islenskr.livejournal.com]

Networking: yeah, I know our fields don't overlap at all, but I was thinking that you never know who knows someone else who needs someone who can do things I can do. I'm making a list of skills (in a kind of odd way), which I'll show you if you'd like at some point.

Sept 23rd: you've got it!! I'm sooo looking forward to this. I won't be able to participate in acro stuff (sadface), but maybe I'll learn from watching? And photos!! I'll be able to practice taking pictures of people! :)

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

I think having something in your life you love and enjoy so much that you crave more is awesome.