flexagon | 10 days or so

Lately, it's begin to seem like a good time to follow up on some over-a-decade-old mysteries at work. I have a drink I need to have with someone and I'm just waiting for them to leave Zillian. Before that, though, I decided to have virtual coffee last Friday with a guy who (I was told) asked to have me fired in about 2008. He's a senior engineer and was managing at the time (one level above where I was then on the corporate ladder, two levels below where I am now), working at a different site. When my old team exploded, so did his -- and I steadfastly averted my eyes and worked on establishing myself on my new team, but I always wondered. After that I got three promotions to his zero -- nothing wrong with that of course, it just tips the dynamic -- and he started showing up around internal social networks seeming like a good guy. I figured it had been forever and all possible statutes of limitations had expired, so on Friday we got together for virtual coffee and the trading of war stories, and it was fine. It was nice. He doesn't remember asking to have me removed -- from his side as he remembers now, he never had any idea what was going on or who was doing what at my site, which was indeed part of the problem. He was a pretty inexperienced manager, brought into "keep the lights on and maybe do something cool" with a team that had just had a big launch; it caught him flat-footed when the senior people pulled a classic "launch and leave" and then his suddenly-junior team got augmented unexpectedly with a team at another site (mine). He struggled for resources of all kinds, unwisely split his time across a couple of projects and got removed after a year and a half, going back to individual contributor work fairly gladly. Amusingly, one of the things he struggled with before finally leaving that team was something I had also struggled with: the continuous build system. He never knew that I was put on a performance plan, so I told him about that and about switching teams. Then we just talked about the current virus-recession until it was time to go. Anyway, a nice closing of a loop and one less thing to feel bad about.

The condo, continuing to adapt, has sprouted a standing desk for the bug; our dining room table is back to being a table.

My spine, continuing to adapt, did its first cheststand since about 2013.

Outer Wilds is taking me a while (~80 hours so far) but is nice as a project. I almost gave up over the weekend after failing many times at a particular section that required lots of dexterity, but nice people on Reddit assured me that it was probably the hardest part, and I got through. There's always a balance, for me, between having enough projects to feel that life is rich without overwhelming myself and feeling panicky... right now I've got this game and a quilt and my rather neglected circus choreo. It's a little bit more than I like, and I'm hoping to finish up the game soon.

Regarding circus, I went to the school on Monday for an in-person but distanced handstand private lesson and it was really, really nice. The teacher just brought a board and a panel mat outside and we worked on basics, and I did maybe my best ever transitions between tuck and straight, and I felt hopeful.

Still feeling a lot of uncertainty around virus-foo and work-foo, and I'm on the edge of a stress headache, at some point in the day, more days than I'd like. Still, some things are OK.