Workouts are freaking awesome, at least
Sep. 28th, 2025 10:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flexagonContinuing to feel super burned out at the mere thought of working, or constraining my schedule too much. I know this makes sense. I know it takes more than six months to recover from 17 years of cortisol flooding my system. Gotta drift along and observe the whirling world for a while, and have faith in neuroplasticity.
In the meantime, physical workouts are only getting better. In some ways, there's joy in recovering ground I've lost before, because I can be confident in the path to gaining the skill again; for instance, I know that once I can bop my chest against the wall in a backbend, my kickover isn't too far away. And I know that once I have a dropback (check) and a kickover (as of today, check!), a back walkover will be coming along. This is easier on me in some ways than the -- exciting, for sure -- improvements into things I've never had before, where I don't know what comes next or where I'll max out, or how much faith to have. Anyway, in the last week or so I've gotten a set of 5 chinups back, and my kickover back. (The week before, also in backbend territory, I touched each toe to the top of my head in turn; that's a maintenance marker not touched since last December.) There was a cramping episode that made me think I should carry some runners' salt chews, but overall I'm doing really well.
Today in open studio, Birdie and I and another friend set up a station for walkover drills (tick-tocks) and worked on them for about an hour. It was so fun, and useful to really work on one thing for quite a while.
Also this week I ordered some organization stuff for our IKEA cube unit and for the freezer.
I spent a whole day helping a friend move (third one this fall, for anyone counting). She had a lot of the same Zillian swag as me, from working in the same office and, for a few years, in the same group, and I had all kinds of complicated feelings about seeing those items. Mostly sadness and a desire to avoid them. Neither she or I sees a way back to working the way we did when we got those things.
I floofed off to Portland Maine for the first time ever, with the squirrel. On the way up we listened to a podcast about fear, anxiety, exposure therapy etc, and had a good conversation about fears... later that day a tiny not-very-scary spider got onto my hand in a park, and I said "wait! exposure therapy!" and let it crawl around a little before putting my hand on the ground to let it get off. The squirrel was proud of me for letting it live, I was just proud of myself for doing something I'd literally never done before.
I'm sure there's more, but the sleepiness is rising fast, and I must succumb.
In the meantime, physical workouts are only getting better. In some ways, there's joy in recovering ground I've lost before, because I can be confident in the path to gaining the skill again; for instance, I know that once I can bop my chest against the wall in a backbend, my kickover isn't too far away. And I know that once I have a dropback (check) and a kickover (as of today, check!), a back walkover will be coming along. This is easier on me in some ways than the -- exciting, for sure -- improvements into things I've never had before, where I don't know what comes next or where I'll max out, or how much faith to have. Anyway, in the last week or so I've gotten a set of 5 chinups back, and my kickover back. (The week before, also in backbend territory, I touched each toe to the top of my head in turn; that's a maintenance marker not touched since last December.) There was a cramping episode that made me think I should carry some runners' salt chews, but overall I'm doing really well.
Today in open studio, Birdie and I and another friend set up a station for walkover drills (tick-tocks) and worked on them for about an hour. It was so fun, and useful to really work on one thing for quite a while.
Also this week I ordered some organization stuff for our IKEA cube unit and for the freezer.
I spent a whole day helping a friend move (third one this fall, for anyone counting). She had a lot of the same Zillian swag as me, from working in the same office and, for a few years, in the same group, and I had all kinds of complicated feelings about seeing those items. Mostly sadness and a desire to avoid them. Neither she or I sees a way back to working the way we did when we got those things.
I floofed off to Portland Maine for the first time ever, with the squirrel. On the way up we listened to a podcast about fear, anxiety, exposure therapy etc, and had a good conversation about fears... later that day a tiny not-very-scary spider got onto my hand in a park, and I said "wait! exposure therapy!" and let it crawl around a little before putting my hand on the ground to let it get off. The squirrel was proud of me for letting it live, I was just proud of myself for doing something I'd literally never done before.
I'm sure there's more, but the sleepiness is rising fast, and I must succumb.
